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Untitled (Dick Casablancas fic)

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  • Untitled (Dick Casablancas fic)

    So, this is a dramatic/humorous tale of Dick contemplating suicide on a rooftop after hearing of his brother. I'm toying with the idea of using this story as a spring board for a longer plot but who really knows, right?

    [Dick is sitting on the edge of the roof, looking down. He has clearly been drinking and his eyes betray that he may have been crying, as well. He lifts a half empty bottle of wine to his lips and takes a swig. He looks at the bottle and shakes his head. He then stares at the street down below.]

    Dick: Maybe it would be best. Who would miss me, anyway? (He takes another swig and continues to stare over the edge, miserably.)

    [Charlie arrives on the roof, a book in her hand. It appears that she’s there to read peacefully but when she spots Dick, she walks over and sits beside him.]

    Charlie (Surprisingly, with a British accent): What the hell are you doing up here? This is my reading spot, you know.

    Dick (mumbling): Sorry.

    Charlie: (clearly upset that her nightly ritual has been interrupted): You’re forgiven, I guess. (glances around impatiently and taps her fingers on the edge) So, you never did answer my question. What are you doing out here? I really hope you aren’t planning to jump. That would be really messy.

    Dick: What do you know about that kind of stuff, anyway?

    Charlie: Not much. Just what I’ve seen on CSI.

    [There is a long silence and Charlie starts to swing her legs back and forth. She glances over the edge of the roof and sighs.]

    Charlie: So are you going to jump or what?

    Dick: What?

    Charlie: Well, if you’re going to jump, why don’t you just do it, already?

    Dick (a little surprised): You mean, you want me to? I thought you just said that you didn’t.

    Charlie: Well, the way I see it (grabs Dick’s wine bottle and chugs some) if you’re going to jump, you will. It doesn’t matter what I say about it. I just hate to see you prolong it. I might actually start to like you a little.

    Dick: Okay…

    Charlie: Do you mind if I ask you a question?

    Dick (irritated): Yes.
    Charlie (ignoring Dick’s answer): Why like this? I mean, if I were going to kill myself, I certainly wouldn’t jump off of a roof.

    Dick: Well, how would you do it, then, Ms. Smart Ass?

    Charlie: You’re avoiding the question.

    Dick: So are you.

    Charlie (thinking for a moment): Probably shoot myself in the head. I mean, bang and it’s over. Or, I’d get some person I really dislike mad enough to kill me. Then, I could bring them down with me.

    Dick: You watch too much CSI.

    Charlie: Yeah, I guess I do. But I think you have the bigger problem here. I mean, are you even thinking of the poor bloke who will have to scrape you off the sidewalk?

    Dick (trying to hide a smile): You’re freakin’ nuts, ya know that?

    Charlie: Maybe, but you’re smiling so you must like me a little.

    Dick: You’re not that bad.

    Charlie: So you never answered my question. Why do you want to off yourself?

    Dick: My brother killed himself last year. Jumped off the roof of a hotel. Twenty four story building and they say he didn’t even hesitate. Sometimes I wonder about him. Maybe if I had just-

    Charlie (rolling her eyes): Maybe if you’d paid more attention, cared about him more, spent more time with him….maybe, maybe, maybe. Don’t play those games. He had to be pretty unstable to do that.

    Dick (nodding): Cassidy Casablancas.

    Charlie: Yeah?

    Dick: He was a murderer. You’re probably the only one in Neptune who hasn’t heard of him.

    Charlie: Well, I’m obviously not from around here. (She thinks for a moment, a look of sheer concentration on her face.) You’re a big fat hypocrite.

    Dick: What?

    Charlie: Well, if you’re upset over your brother’s suicide, why would you even think of going the same way? Why would you want to put people through the same pain you’re in right now.

    Dick: Trust me. No one will care.

    Charlie: I bet that’s what your brother thought. (glances over to catch Dick’s reaction)

    Dick (looking at the wine bottle between him and Charlie): Yeah, probably.

    Charlie: So, if you want to jump, then jump. But don’t expect a huge pity party from me.

    Dick: What’s your name?

    Charlie: Charlie. Charlie McCarthy. What’s yours?

    Dick: Dick.

    Charlie: Figures.

    Dick: Can I ask you a question?

    Charlie: I’d be insulted if you didn’t.

    Dick: If I jumped, would you miss me?

    Charlie: (Shakes her head) No, not really. (Smirks at the disappointed look on Dick’s face.) But I’d like to have the chance to miss you.
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