Christmas morning dawned cold, crisp, and lifeless. Clark was already performing his chores since farm work knew no holidays. There were cattle to be fed, cows to be milked, and as always, a fence that needed mending.
The perfect solitude of early morning gave Clark time to be alone with his thoughts, something he hadn’t had much of lately since his mother had come back to Smallville after the end of the fall session of the Kansas State Senate. With Martha had come her ever-present shadows, Lois and Lionel. Lionel, thankfully, was staying in the Luthor Mansion, and Lois was staying in the Talon apartment with Chloe, but they were both here at the farm more often than not during waking hours.
It’s a measure of how far we’ve fallen in the space of a year, Clark thought. From the light and warmth of Dad and Lana to the self-centeredness of the Wonder Twins.
Christmas had always been Clark’s favorite holiday, but last year’s had been the all-time best. From time spent delivering presents to deserving families to family time here in a warm and welcoming house, Clark had loved every minute. It had felt like the first of many such Christmases…instead, it had been the last.
He had lost Lana and his dad on the same day, the blackest day of his life. Sure, the actual breakup with her had come later, but election day was when he had realized she could never be his. It was the day his heart had begun to die.
Even taking his time, Clark was done with chores and headed back to the house with the morning Daily Planet in hand by the time his mother made it to the kitchen to make a hurried breakfast for two before continuing her extensive preparations for Christmas dinner. He had worked up a mighty appetite and was looking forward to three Western omelets. He could already taste the bits of smoked ham, crisp bell pepper, and spicy red onion surrounded by fluffy scrambled eggs and smothered with melted mozzarella cheese.
Though he was dreaming about omelets, the first smell he noticed was a brew of rich Hawaiian Kona coffee. One of the side benefits of Martha’s time running the Talon, as far as Clark was concerned anyway, was that she had developed a taste for great coffee, and now, plain, old Colombian coffee would no longer suffice.
When Clark tried to pour himself a cup of coffee and sit at the kitchen table to read just like his dad used to, Martha shooed him away, insisting he wash up before taking a seat at her table. Clark groaned but grinned as he allowed his mother to herd him toward the bathroom, just like she used to do to his dad.
Once breakfast was over and he had cleared the table and washed the dishes, Clark knew his further presence in the kitchen would be nothing more than a hindrance, so he looked for something to do, something that would get him out of the house before either Lois or Lionel arrived.
Swinging by the Talon was out of the question. Clark was already trying to avoid Lois and even seeing Chloe held no interest for him today. She would undoubtedly try to cheer him up before she went off to have Christmas dinner with Jimmy’s family in Metropolis. She’s another person I seem to have lost this year. Last year we were inseparable buddies, now we spend less and less time together.
Speaking of friends I’ve lost, Clark thought, I wonder what Pete’s doing this Christmas. His dad says he’s engaged to a girl he met senior year in Wichita. I know he comes to visit his dad regularly, but I haven’t seen him since our tearful goodbye. I don’t blame Pete for our separation, once again, I blame me. He just did what he had to.
Clark shrugged on his tan barn coat and headed outside. “I’m going to go for a walk,” Clark said, being sure to make himself heard by his mother.
Martha waved an absentminded goodbye as she was concentrating on the Smithfield ham that was about to go into the oven.
Clark ambled down the hard-packed drive and down Hickory Lane past fields that were covered with a thin skin of snow and ice, the last remnants of a storm a week earlier. He was buried in his thoughts when he realized he had come to a stop. Looking up and seeing he had come to a stop in front of Lana’s old home, he couldn’t help but smile, even as thoughts of her twisted his guts anew.
From years of careful study with his old telescope, Clark knew the front of that house better than he did the front of his house. The sky blue paint was peeling in places, and the whole house had taken on an air of disrepair. Another thing from my past that is falling to dust…great!
Soon, he was into town, hands tucked into his coat pockets, and once again he found himself standing still, this time, in front of the Talon. He was relieved to see, from the cars that weren’t there, that Chloe and Lois were both gone. The Talon was closed for the holiday, as were all of the shops on Main Street, allowing Clark to contemplate his past in solitude.
Lana asked me recently if I ever wished I could go back and do something over, Clark thought. How ironic, since that’s what got us into this mess in the first place. When I had the chance to change the past, I made a mistake. Until now, I thought the mistake I’d most like to change was not telling Lana about me, and about Lex, the second time around.
But now, I’m thinking bigger. I believe that given the chance, I’d go back to freshman year, right here at the Talon, and keep Lana from ever becoming business partners with Lex. Sure, she would’ve lost the place where her parents met, but she never would’ve fallen into Lex’s orbit. She only would’ve known him through me. That should’ve kept her safe enough.
Clark had to get away from the Talon and its many Lana-related memories. He wanted to go somewhere quiet and isolated, somewhere he could be alone with his thoughts, somewhere no one else would find him.
I hear old man Chandler finally rebuilt his windmill, Clark thought, if he kept the platform on top, that should do just fine.
Comment