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Chapter 2 - Education, Decision, and Action
Lana was staggered.
Over the years, Lana had come up with many explanations to account for what she both knew and suspected about Clark. But none of them came close to the truth. I guess truth really is stranger than fiction, she thought.
Raya waited patiently as Lana processed this new information. Raya could tell, from the distracted, unfocused look in Lana’s eyes, that she was having a hard time accepting the truth. Denial of a hard truth is always the easiest way out.
Looking for something concrete to hold on to, Lana asked, “What answers, exactly, will that crystal give me? I mean, it just looks like a faceted piece of glass.”
“Put your hand on the time crystal, and it will give you all of Kal-El’s memories starting at the branching point of time and going all the way to the end of the original time stream. You will know every thought and every emotion. You will see things the way he saw them and will know why he did what he did. You may not agree with his choices, I for one did not, but you will understand.”
Lana drew in a sudden breath through clenched teeth. When it came to Clark, more than anything else, Lana had wanted to understand him. Knowing why he did what he did, from compulsively saving anything that needed his help to just as compulsively lying to her about himself, was of paramount importance to her. Even knowing the truth wasn’t as important, and from the knowing smile on Raya’s face, she knew it, too.
“Understanding is a valuable thing, no?” Raya asked.
“Oh yes, very valuable,” Lana breathed.
Determined, Lana reached forward and placed both hands on the time crystal. Her hands locked into place as the information was being downloaded into her brain. Her eyes darted back and forth under her closed eyelids, closely mimicking the patterns of R.E.M. sleep. To Lana, it felt just like a dream, if a dream could have laser-sharp images and sound anyway. In her mind, for the time in question, she was Clark.
When Lana regained full consciousness she thought many hours had passed, but a question to Raya let her know the memory download had only taken a few minutes.
Lana was silent after that as she reviewed what she had just learned. A complete analysis of every thought and deed of Clark’s would take a long time, but right now, she was getting quick impressions.
The first thing she dealt with was the absolute weirdness of having almost an entire day of Clark Kent’s life at her ‘fingertips.’ Three years ago, she had told Sarah Conroy that she would love to switch places with her and find out what goes on inside Clark’s head. Now, she had finally gotten her wish.
Their day had started in a familiar manner with Clark turning over a piece of coal in his hand while waiting for her. The sensation of waiting around in the back of his mind while he waited for her to show up was bizarre. The bizarreness climbed at an exponential rate when she felt Clark’s surge of love after hearing her own voice as she entered the loft. Still, knowing Clark had loved her so deeply at that time filled Lana with warmth.
Along with learning that Clark loved her, Lana also learned that he was incredibly attracted to her physically. That had been a very gratifying insight for her. The fact that he hadn’t made love to her since the day he died had crushed her. She had thought he no longer found her sexually appealing. Knowing that was not the case lifted a weight off her shoulders. The real reason for his hands-off attitude was easier to take and was one she thought she would have been able to work around had she known about it. Hurt me with his strength! Lana thought. Hah! As if he’d ever allow himself to do that…but it was responsible of him to wait until he told me his big secret.
The most important thing Lana learned from Clark’s thoughts was that his primary motivation for keeping her in the dark hadn’t been a lack of trust…it was fear. Fear that she’d reject him and fear that people would come after her to learn about him. In the end, however, his fear had worked in her favor when his fear of losing her if he didn’t tell her his secrets had finally outgrown his fear of losing her if her did tell her.
He trusts me! He trusts me! It was all she had ever needed from Clark, and she had had it all along. She was so happy right now, that she felt like dancing.
The rest of their time together that day had been pure bliss. Clark had explained his connection to the Kawatche caves and then, in the glimmering palace of ice and crystal that he thought of as his ‘Fortress of Solitude,’ he had told her everything. To top it all off, he had then proposed marriage. By now, Lana was desperately wishing the crystal had also contained her memories. To have had everything she had ever wanted to happen actually happen, only to not remember a thing, was a serious blow.
Lana was beside herself with excitement now. Clark had proposed! Every dream she had ever had was coming true…or at least, had come true in the past. The more things went well in this memory, the more apprehensive Lana became about learning exactlywhat had gone wrong.
The next part, learning that Chloe was his confidante, had been another blow. Chloe had been her competition in everything Clark-related since freshman year in high school, and knowing Chloe had learned Clark’s most closely-guarded secrets before she herself had was a bitter pill to swallow. The slightly hurt expression on Chloe’s face when Clark told her about the proposal was small recompense, but Lana would take what she could get. You may have gotten his secrets first, Lana thought, but I won his heart! She knew that kind of thought was petty, but she couldn’t help it. Clark had always brought out her competitive nature.
Lana had thought Clark’s fear had peaked when he told her about Krypton, but she was wrong. Watching her make her way up the walk to meet him at the Kent farmhouse had been the absolute worst for him. He had been in agony waiting for her to announce her decision, but when she said, “As in, ‘yes, Clark, I’ll marry you,’” he’d jumped straight to ecstasy with no stops in between.
Once they were at the election night rally at the Talon, Lana could feel Clark’s pride as he showed her off to everyone he could find. Chloe had just congratulated them both, saying she had known it was just a matter of time, when Mr. and Mrs. Kent finally showed up. Clark was anxious for their approval, but he needn’t have worried. They welcomed her to the family with open arms.
When the election victory was announced, the Kents were pulled to one side by Lois for a lengthy photo op. Clark had lost track of Lana after that, not really surprising in a crowd of this size. The next time he heard from her was when she called him on his cell phone. She was on Route 40 on the other side of Loeb Bridge and she was in trouble.
How could I get in trouble so quickly? Lana wondered. And out there? The only thing out there is the Luthor Mansion. Lana didn’t have long to wait to learn that answer. Apparently, I went to visit Lex to comfort him and he figured out that Clark had told me everything and went into a drunken rage. I fled and he chased me down, determined to learn Clark’s secrets from me. Clark had become increasingly worried during the conversation with me and was on the verge of going into action to save me when the sound of screeching tires, crunching sheet metal, and shattering glass filled his ear before the phone went dead.
Fear was no longer adequate to describe what was racing through Clark’s mind as he turned on the jets to race to Lana’s side. The scene was straight out of a really bad Driver’s Ed video. Clark blew past the yellow school bus filled with Smallville High students returning from an out of town basketball game without even noticing them. Next to be disregarded in Clark’s haste was Lex, as all Clark had eyes for was the demolished SUV sitting in the middle of the two-lane highway…or more accurately, the battered and blood-soaked body lying on the asphalt in front of the SUV. Lana recognized that SUV, which was no surprise since it was hers. She knew before Clark’s memories told her, that she had to be the one lying in the road. The anguish Clark was suffering through was mirrored in her own soul as well. When he hurt, she hurt.
‘Clark lost his mind for a few minutes’ was the only way she could think of to accurately describe what happened next. He was racked with grief, and only the comforting presence of his dad kept him from doing God only knows what.
Knowing the depth and intensity of his love for her that she had first experienced earlier in the day, and knowing Clark’s almost pathological need to save people, especially the ones he loves, what happened next wasn’t really a surprise. Clark went to the Fortress to seek help. In his grief, he was ready to do anything, risk anything, give up anything, as long as she could live again.
Lana listened to the conversation Clark had with the disembodied voice very carefully. Making sense out of some of the things being said wasn’t really possible without other information that was inside Clark’s head. Luckily for her, she was inside his thoughts, and he was thinking about that ‘other information’ as he talked.
So this is where Clark was brought back from the dead, Lana thought, and in exchange, someone close to him had to die…and it was me. Then she remembered that Jonathan had died the night of the election, and thought, Did Clark exchange my life for that of his father? Could he have possibly known? Lana was horrified at the very idea and unbelievably angry at Clark for keeping this from her. This price was something that affected us all. We had a right to know, and the all-knowing , all-powerful Clark Kent took it upon himself to keep it from us. Damn him!
The next thing Clark said gave her cold chills, ‘If I hadn’t told her the truth about me she’d still be alive.’ So that explained why he chickened out in the loft on the day that she remembered visiting with a ‘scarf and gloves.’ He thought that by keeping her ignorant, he would keep her safe, and she already knew he was willing to pay the price for their eventual breakup. He’d do anything to keep her safe.
Lana didn’t know how to reconcile the feelings she was having right now. She loved him so intensely that merely thinking about him made breathing difficult, but her love was competing with her rage at the cavalier way he made decisions that rightfully were hers to make.
Finally armed with the information she felt she should’ve had all along, Lana made a silent promise. Clark Kent, when next we meet, your butt is mine!
All she wanted was to leave the mansion and find Clark, wherever he was, but seeing Raya brought one last question to mind.
“Raya, not that I’m ungrateful, but why did you show me this? Clark and I were as happy as can be, but only for half a day.”
Giving her what Lana could only describe as a crocodile smile, Raya said, “I showed you the first series of events because you have a choice. As a person inside the time change, you have the ability, and the right, to go back and change things yourself.”
“How? I don’t have any special abilities.”
From an unseen pocket, Raya produced a smoky gray crystal similar in size and shape to the time crystal. “With this. Hold this crystal in one hand as you hold the time crystal in the other, and you can choose exactly which point in the original time stream to return to. Your choices start at the branching point in Kal-El’s loft and continue until Kal-El changed time. Nothing that occurred after the point you choose will have happened, and the alternate time line will not have happened for anyone at all, except for you. Because you are the one holding the time crystal as time changes, your memories will be unaffected.”
Thinking of her baby, which she was no longer certain she still wanted if it meant the child would be raised by Lex, Lana asked, “Will I still be pregnant if I choose to change things?”
“I’m sorry, Lana Lang,” Raya said. “Your body will revert to how it was at the time you returned to.” She held a finger up in warning. “Be careful. If you go back to the time of your accident, you will be dead.”
Lana chose her next words carefully. “You said Clark’s reason for changing the past was ‘insufficient.’ What makes me messing with time any more proper?”
“I can’t repair the Fortress of Solitude, not with the technology available on this planet and Kal-El needs more than I can provide him to become the man this planet needs him to be. He needs Jor-El’s wisdom, he needs the collected knowledge of the known universe…most of all, he needs a working Fortress of Solitude. The only way to make that happen is to rollback Kal-El’s alterations. That is what I deem to be of sufficient enough value to risk another time change. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.”
Lana thought of her life with Lex, and then thought of the life she could have with Clark. She didn’t need to think it over, she chose Clark.
“Give me the crystal, I’m ready.”
“There is one thing I would have you do.”
“Anything. Name it.”
Raya leaned close and said, “After this, I can’t safely be brought out of the Phantom Zone. It’s clear now that there is too great a risk of several others escaping with me,and I have no wish to live an eternity in that timeless wasteland, so give this message to Kal-El for me. Make sure he discusses it with Jor-El. The message is, ‘Raya is trapped in the Phantom Zone. She offers a final service to the House of El. No price is too great.’”
As the full import of Raya’s offer hit home, Lana said, “I’ll remember.” Looking up at Raya with tears in her eyes, Lana said, “Saying thank you is ’insufficient’ in light of your great gift, but it’s all I have to offer besides my promise to not waste this chance. So, thank you, Raya. You can never know what this means to me.” That said, Lana grabbed one crystal in each hand, thought for a moment, and her world turned black.
No baby, no black Thursday, no break up, nothing.
Lana was staggered.
Over the years, Lana had come up with many explanations to account for what she both knew and suspected about Clark. But none of them came close to the truth. I guess truth really is stranger than fiction, she thought.
Raya waited patiently as Lana processed this new information. Raya could tell, from the distracted, unfocused look in Lana’s eyes, that she was having a hard time accepting the truth. Denial of a hard truth is always the easiest way out.
Looking for something concrete to hold on to, Lana asked, “What answers, exactly, will that crystal give me? I mean, it just looks like a faceted piece of glass.”
“Put your hand on the time crystal, and it will give you all of Kal-El’s memories starting at the branching point of time and going all the way to the end of the original time stream. You will know every thought and every emotion. You will see things the way he saw them and will know why he did what he did. You may not agree with his choices, I for one did not, but you will understand.”
Lana drew in a sudden breath through clenched teeth. When it came to Clark, more than anything else, Lana had wanted to understand him. Knowing why he did what he did, from compulsively saving anything that needed his help to just as compulsively lying to her about himself, was of paramount importance to her. Even knowing the truth wasn’t as important, and from the knowing smile on Raya’s face, she knew it, too.
“Understanding is a valuable thing, no?” Raya asked.
“Oh yes, very valuable,” Lana breathed.
Determined, Lana reached forward and placed both hands on the time crystal. Her hands locked into place as the information was being downloaded into her brain. Her eyes darted back and forth under her closed eyelids, closely mimicking the patterns of R.E.M. sleep. To Lana, it felt just like a dream, if a dream could have laser-sharp images and sound anyway. In her mind, for the time in question, she was Clark.
When Lana regained full consciousness she thought many hours had passed, but a question to Raya let her know the memory download had only taken a few minutes.
Lana was silent after that as she reviewed what she had just learned. A complete analysis of every thought and deed of Clark’s would take a long time, but right now, she was getting quick impressions.
The first thing she dealt with was the absolute weirdness of having almost an entire day of Clark Kent’s life at her ‘fingertips.’ Three years ago, she had told Sarah Conroy that she would love to switch places with her and find out what goes on inside Clark’s head. Now, she had finally gotten her wish.
Their day had started in a familiar manner with Clark turning over a piece of coal in his hand while waiting for her. The sensation of waiting around in the back of his mind while he waited for her to show up was bizarre. The bizarreness climbed at an exponential rate when she felt Clark’s surge of love after hearing her own voice as she entered the loft. Still, knowing Clark had loved her so deeply at that time filled Lana with warmth.
Along with learning that Clark loved her, Lana also learned that he was incredibly attracted to her physically. That had been a very gratifying insight for her. The fact that he hadn’t made love to her since the day he died had crushed her. She had thought he no longer found her sexually appealing. Knowing that was not the case lifted a weight off her shoulders. The real reason for his hands-off attitude was easier to take and was one she thought she would have been able to work around had she known about it. Hurt me with his strength! Lana thought. Hah! As if he’d ever allow himself to do that…but it was responsible of him to wait until he told me his big secret.
The most important thing Lana learned from Clark’s thoughts was that his primary motivation for keeping her in the dark hadn’t been a lack of trust…it was fear. Fear that she’d reject him and fear that people would come after her to learn about him. In the end, however, his fear had worked in her favor when his fear of losing her if he didn’t tell her his secrets had finally outgrown his fear of losing her if her did tell her.
He trusts me! He trusts me! It was all she had ever needed from Clark, and she had had it all along. She was so happy right now, that she felt like dancing.
The rest of their time together that day had been pure bliss. Clark had explained his connection to the Kawatche caves and then, in the glimmering palace of ice and crystal that he thought of as his ‘Fortress of Solitude,’ he had told her everything. To top it all off, he had then proposed marriage. By now, Lana was desperately wishing the crystal had also contained her memories. To have had everything she had ever wanted to happen actually happen, only to not remember a thing, was a serious blow.
Lana was beside herself with excitement now. Clark had proposed! Every dream she had ever had was coming true…or at least, had come true in the past. The more things went well in this memory, the more apprehensive Lana became about learning exactlywhat had gone wrong.
The next part, learning that Chloe was his confidante, had been another blow. Chloe had been her competition in everything Clark-related since freshman year in high school, and knowing Chloe had learned Clark’s most closely-guarded secrets before she herself had was a bitter pill to swallow. The slightly hurt expression on Chloe’s face when Clark told her about the proposal was small recompense, but Lana would take what she could get. You may have gotten his secrets first, Lana thought, but I won his heart! She knew that kind of thought was petty, but she couldn’t help it. Clark had always brought out her competitive nature.
Lana had thought Clark’s fear had peaked when he told her about Krypton, but she was wrong. Watching her make her way up the walk to meet him at the Kent farmhouse had been the absolute worst for him. He had been in agony waiting for her to announce her decision, but when she said, “As in, ‘yes, Clark, I’ll marry you,’” he’d jumped straight to ecstasy with no stops in between.
Once they were at the election night rally at the Talon, Lana could feel Clark’s pride as he showed her off to everyone he could find. Chloe had just congratulated them both, saying she had known it was just a matter of time, when Mr. and Mrs. Kent finally showed up. Clark was anxious for their approval, but he needn’t have worried. They welcomed her to the family with open arms.
When the election victory was announced, the Kents were pulled to one side by Lois for a lengthy photo op. Clark had lost track of Lana after that, not really surprising in a crowd of this size. The next time he heard from her was when she called him on his cell phone. She was on Route 40 on the other side of Loeb Bridge and she was in trouble.
How could I get in trouble so quickly? Lana wondered. And out there? The only thing out there is the Luthor Mansion. Lana didn’t have long to wait to learn that answer. Apparently, I went to visit Lex to comfort him and he figured out that Clark had told me everything and went into a drunken rage. I fled and he chased me down, determined to learn Clark’s secrets from me. Clark had become increasingly worried during the conversation with me and was on the verge of going into action to save me when the sound of screeching tires, crunching sheet metal, and shattering glass filled his ear before the phone went dead.
Fear was no longer adequate to describe what was racing through Clark’s mind as he turned on the jets to race to Lana’s side. The scene was straight out of a really bad Driver’s Ed video. Clark blew past the yellow school bus filled with Smallville High students returning from an out of town basketball game without even noticing them. Next to be disregarded in Clark’s haste was Lex, as all Clark had eyes for was the demolished SUV sitting in the middle of the two-lane highway…or more accurately, the battered and blood-soaked body lying on the asphalt in front of the SUV. Lana recognized that SUV, which was no surprise since it was hers. She knew before Clark’s memories told her, that she had to be the one lying in the road. The anguish Clark was suffering through was mirrored in her own soul as well. When he hurt, she hurt.
‘Clark lost his mind for a few minutes’ was the only way she could think of to accurately describe what happened next. He was racked with grief, and only the comforting presence of his dad kept him from doing God only knows what.
Knowing the depth and intensity of his love for her that she had first experienced earlier in the day, and knowing Clark’s almost pathological need to save people, especially the ones he loves, what happened next wasn’t really a surprise. Clark went to the Fortress to seek help. In his grief, he was ready to do anything, risk anything, give up anything, as long as she could live again.
Lana listened to the conversation Clark had with the disembodied voice very carefully. Making sense out of some of the things being said wasn’t really possible without other information that was inside Clark’s head. Luckily for her, she was inside his thoughts, and he was thinking about that ‘other information’ as he talked.
So this is where Clark was brought back from the dead, Lana thought, and in exchange, someone close to him had to die…and it was me. Then she remembered that Jonathan had died the night of the election, and thought, Did Clark exchange my life for that of his father? Could he have possibly known? Lana was horrified at the very idea and unbelievably angry at Clark for keeping this from her. This price was something that affected us all. We had a right to know, and the all-knowing , all-powerful Clark Kent took it upon himself to keep it from us. Damn him!
The next thing Clark said gave her cold chills, ‘If I hadn’t told her the truth about me she’d still be alive.’ So that explained why he chickened out in the loft on the day that she remembered visiting with a ‘scarf and gloves.’ He thought that by keeping her ignorant, he would keep her safe, and she already knew he was willing to pay the price for their eventual breakup. He’d do anything to keep her safe.
Lana didn’t know how to reconcile the feelings she was having right now. She loved him so intensely that merely thinking about him made breathing difficult, but her love was competing with her rage at the cavalier way he made decisions that rightfully were hers to make.
Finally armed with the information she felt she should’ve had all along, Lana made a silent promise. Clark Kent, when next we meet, your butt is mine!
All she wanted was to leave the mansion and find Clark, wherever he was, but seeing Raya brought one last question to mind.
“Raya, not that I’m ungrateful, but why did you show me this? Clark and I were as happy as can be, but only for half a day.”
Giving her what Lana could only describe as a crocodile smile, Raya said, “I showed you the first series of events because you have a choice. As a person inside the time change, you have the ability, and the right, to go back and change things yourself.”
“How? I don’t have any special abilities.”
From an unseen pocket, Raya produced a smoky gray crystal similar in size and shape to the time crystal. “With this. Hold this crystal in one hand as you hold the time crystal in the other, and you can choose exactly which point in the original time stream to return to. Your choices start at the branching point in Kal-El’s loft and continue until Kal-El changed time. Nothing that occurred after the point you choose will have happened, and the alternate time line will not have happened for anyone at all, except for you. Because you are the one holding the time crystal as time changes, your memories will be unaffected.”
Thinking of her baby, which she was no longer certain she still wanted if it meant the child would be raised by Lex, Lana asked, “Will I still be pregnant if I choose to change things?”
“I’m sorry, Lana Lang,” Raya said. “Your body will revert to how it was at the time you returned to.” She held a finger up in warning. “Be careful. If you go back to the time of your accident, you will be dead.”
Lana chose her next words carefully. “You said Clark’s reason for changing the past was ‘insufficient.’ What makes me messing with time any more proper?”
“I can’t repair the Fortress of Solitude, not with the technology available on this planet and Kal-El needs more than I can provide him to become the man this planet needs him to be. He needs Jor-El’s wisdom, he needs the collected knowledge of the known universe…most of all, he needs a working Fortress of Solitude. The only way to make that happen is to rollback Kal-El’s alterations. That is what I deem to be of sufficient enough value to risk another time change. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.”
Lana thought of her life with Lex, and then thought of the life she could have with Clark. She didn’t need to think it over, she chose Clark.
“Give me the crystal, I’m ready.”
“There is one thing I would have you do.”
“Anything. Name it.”
Raya leaned close and said, “After this, I can’t safely be brought out of the Phantom Zone. It’s clear now that there is too great a risk of several others escaping with me,and I have no wish to live an eternity in that timeless wasteland, so give this message to Kal-El for me. Make sure he discusses it with Jor-El. The message is, ‘Raya is trapped in the Phantom Zone. She offers a final service to the House of El. No price is too great.’”
As the full import of Raya’s offer hit home, Lana said, “I’ll remember.” Looking up at Raya with tears in her eyes, Lana said, “Saying thank you is ’insufficient’ in light of your great gift, but it’s all I have to offer besides my promise to not waste this chance. So, thank you, Raya. You can never know what this means to me.” That said, Lana grabbed one crystal in each hand, thought for a moment, and her world turned black.
No baby, no black Thursday, no break up, nothing.
That was an awesone chapter, Cardinal! So Lana will turn back time once again. It's so cool that she gets to know Clark's thoughts and emotions from the 1st time stream. She should be well prepared now to make sure things go better the 3rd time around. Can't wait to see how that goes. I KNOW Lana will live, and we will get happy Clana - right? 
PPMASAP!!!
wonderful! Clark must have his jaw on the floor right about now! I wonder how they will go about this! oh I just can't wait!!!
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