This is something I've been working on, let me know what you think!
Too Many Reasons
By: Randie
Rating: PG-13 for now, who knows about later
Disclaimer: I own nothing, abosolutely nothing, these people are just my toys
Summary: What happens when Lex tells her the truth about his feelings?
Spoilers: Up to and after Lexmas, non canon after that
Prologue
He closed his eyes and leaned back in the leather chair behind his desk, swirling the brandy in his snifter a little. The fireplace crackled in the background as he contemplated his next move. His father had called an hour before to tell him he was coming to visit the plant in two days to go over the profit and loss statement for that quarter. And, he added, to look at the employee records to do some marginal downsizing. He wished, right then, that his other half had not goaded the old man into reverting to his former ways. Lex rather liked the philanthropic Lionel more than the commandeering one.
The doors to his office sanctuary came open and he opened his heavy eyes to see who was the intruder. One of his security staff had dropped him a little present for his afternoon, making it a little brighter. A small smile teased the corner of his mouth and eyes and he set his glass down and stood up, walking around his desk to take her hand.
Lana Lang.
The tempest beauty from the small hick town; the one being since Helen that he had broken through his shell for, to love with all his being. As much as he could anyway. As much as he hated his other half, he had done the one thing that he had wanted to do for so long, and for that he was thankful. Too bad he hadn’t felt it or remembered it, then he would have finally felt what it would be to be in heaven, cause God knew he wasn’t going there.
“Lana,” he said casually, “what can I do for you this afternoon?”
She smiled, her eyes and nose crinkling just so, “Well, I thought we could talk about some things I was thinking of doing for the Talon before I went away for that month in June. I know its coming up, and we’ve been too busy with other-“ she looked down for a moment, “things, that I thought this would be a good day to get it done.”
He thought about it for a moment, tapping his finger to his lip, and reached for his cell phone. Calling a number real quick, he voiced into the phone, “Hello. Can you tell the stables I’ll be there in twenty minutes, with a guest, san then can you cancel any other business for the rest of the day? Thank you.”
Walking back around his desk, he took off his tie, shut the laptop and slammed what little liquor there was left in the glass. Coming back to her, he reached for her hand, pulling it to his, kissing the knuckles eloquently. “I am all yours for the rest of the foreseeable future, Miss Lang. And to truly discuss the Talon without any distractions, we need to do it in the free air.”
She smiled, “Let’s go.”
They rode for what seemed like forever, nothing between them, but horseflesh and air. Small clouds were gathering in the sky above them, and the tension was ebbing away slowly with every step. Clouds were gathering in the distance and a slight chill slipped through as their time together progressed. So far in their discussion, all they had covered was changing the daily specials.
Coming to a grove of trees, Lana dismounted and walked her horse over to rest. Lex circled, then also jumping off his ride, walking over to meet her.
“So, what else did you want to discuss?”
She smiled. “Well, if you must know, its kind of complicated.” She took a deep breath. Lex, patient as always, waited with baited breath. “ I wanted to talk about the spaceship.”
He reached inside his saddlebag and grabbed a couple of rolled up blankets. Spreading one out, he offered her to sit and then handed the other to cover herself with. “Well, what did you want to know?”
She sobered. “I was wondering why you didn’t tell me sooner. I mean, you said partner and that’s great, but I really need to know why.”
He thought about it for a moment and turned his head toward the clouds in the distance. “Something’s looming in the distance, Lana, and I don’t really want to get you involved. That’s the only reason you weren’t told right off.” He looked at her then, his head half-crooked.
She stared into his eyes as he gathered her hands together with his. “You mean too much to me, Lana. Too much to be jeopardized by something like this.”
She thought she saw him flinch—lust a little, as he said those words. Putting an arm around her shoulders, he gave her a sly smile.
Taking a deep breath, she voiced her question softly, almost unrecognizable, “Lex, are you in love with me?”
She felt him arm twitch, and his head turned away once again. “Lana, I’ve told you many times, no feelings or desires that I have will ever come between our friendship. I can’t possibly tell you many more times without sounding very redundant.” He looked back at her. “Regardless of how I feel, you belong to Clark. He’s my friend. That’s something I can never tread over lightly.”
She curled into herself, pulling the blanket closer, thinking.
“What’s wrong?” He looked concerned.
“You never answered the question.” She averted her eyes quickly, knowing that one look from him, she would let it die, but now she knew she needed to know—no more games.
He sighed and turned her chin to look at him; his eyes drinking her in all the while, and moisture gathering slightly at the corners. Shakily, he said, “Yes, Lana. I do.”
Chapter One
Yesterday hadn’t gone well. Their ‘meeting’ they were supposed to have, turned into confession from Lex and the quiet treatment from Lana. Today, however, Lana was determined to get more information from her friend. Regardless of how he felt about telling her, she needed to know how long this has been going on. Actually she had a lot more questions going on in her head, but that was the number one thought she could get a grip on.
The Talon provided a great refuge while she thought about their little problem.
It was dark out and there were many people still about outside, shopping for the holidays. In fact, the business had picked up to the point that Lois had even come in to help out, and she had been called in from Metropolis. Not that she wasn’t already headed here, but still, the fact of the matter remained that she was called in on her way back to Smallville.
Lana settled in with the books, checking them over, when she got a call on the store’s line. “Hello?”
It was Clark. “Lana, its Lex.” He started slowly.
“Clark, what’s going on?” She held her breath.
“He was robbed, Lana, robbed in the street and then shot. He’s been brought into Smallville Medical Center, but they don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Her heart slowed, then quickened, in a pattern that she didn’t know was evolving into a panic attack. “I’ll be right there, Clark.”
Grabbing her purse, she headed out the door to her SUV.
She stood at the window of his room with her palm flat on the glass. Fat, lonely teardrops slid down her cheeks, which were already too red from crying. The doctors had told them he was in a coma. They weren’t sure if was going to come out of it, and that wasn’t acceptable to her. She had planned on them talking about yesterday. That was the whole point of getting everything that she wanted to say together in her head, like a story she could tell with eyes closed since she knew all the words.
His skin color was like ash. He looked dead.
You couldn’t even really tell that he was breathing unless you were standing so close you could touch his chest, or were reading the monitors lining his bed. She shook her head and wiped the right side of her cheeks.
Lex Luthor.
Senator Luthor.
Senator Lex Luthor.
Such dreams and aspirations he had, not like Jonathan Kent had a chance, she mused, actually wondering where that came from. With Lex in the running, no one could win, she was sure of it. None of that mattered now, she thought as she wiped the left side.
Steeling herself for the night, she grabbed the door handle and pushed it in, and closing it silently behind her. Grabbing a uncomfortable looking easy chair, she pulled it over to his bedside and sat up, grabbing his hand. “Come back to me, Lex, you bastard. You can’t do this, we need to talk about, you know…” Her voice trailed off and she started to sob, hard, and in earnest. She reached even further up and laid her head on his chest, holding on hand, and her other resting softly on his cheek.
Clark watched from the window, the man of steel finally meeting his match.
Chapter Two
Her eyes were closed and a flimsy pale blue blanket that the hospital staff had given her covered her. She had slept there for days now, changed there, ate there, and they even let her shower there. She had not left his side since she had gone home to pack a bag.
Lois had come to the hospital and Lana had asked her to take over everything at the Talon until Lex woke up and she had agreed, take piles of notes, invoicing information, and other things needed to keep Lana’s real life going. Mrs. Kent had brought her a dish of apple cobbler to keep her warm one night. Mr. Kent had brought a coverlet for the chair she slept in, covered in wool, to make it tolerable for her back. Chloe had brought some books; mystery, romance, and intrigue. She hadn’t touched them. Clark came once in awhile, but all they did was sit and stare at the ceiling, not talking, except for the niceties, and basically making the room as silent as a tomb.
Her time had been spent talking to Lex and the doctors. Lionel came in from time to time, checking in, offering advice. She ignored him mostly.
Today though, he was coming to sit with Lex too.
She would have to share Lex with his father.
His father that inwardly hated his son.
He was weak as a child; asthma. Weak as a teenager; bald and pathetic, always feeling sorry for himself. Weak as an adult; couldn’t kill his father when he was pitiful and deceitful.
Lana hated him. Hated him more now that he had decided to play the good father to the people that had surrounded Lex; that wanted to fix him. He was despicable, and she knew it.
But, because Lex was out, she would deal with him.
That was why her eyes were still closed.
If she could keep her dreams going, then she could pretend that Lex was awake, and that they had had their talk, and she had already shared her feelings with him. While her eyes were closed, she could keep this life, knowing that Lex had already woke up, and that everything was going to be okay. In her dreams, she was going to be his queen; castles she had only dreamed about, all theirs in her mind. Away from Smallville, Metropolis. Maybe in France. She loved France, and knew that was one thing they had shared as well.
In France then.
A nurse touched her shoulder, causing her to jump, startled when her hand had left Lex’s. The kindly nurse smiled down at her, “Sorry Lana,” she blushed a little, “I was coming by to check his vitals and wanted to know what you wanted for breakfast this morning. Oh, and Mr. Luthor is on his was. He left the mansion a few minutes ago and had one of the staff phone here.”
Lana rubbed her eyes and sighed. “I’ll have a ton of coffee and a muffin if there’s any today. Guess I missed the chance for a shower, but I’m changing before Lionel gets here.” So he can’t be alone with Lex, she thought to herself, Lex would never forgive me if I left that madman in there with him.
She stood up and leaned down to kiss his forehead. Placing a hand on his cheek, she whispered to him, “Be back in a minute Lex. If your dad comes in, ignore him. I have a plan of how we’re going to deal with him today.” She kissed him on the cheek, and then walked out to go to the bathroom.
A few minutes later, she came back just a Lionel Luthor was walking into the room. Her coffee and muffin, as well as a fruit plate, sat on Lex’s bedside table waiting for her. “Hello, Mr. Luthor,” she said quietly.
“Lana, my dear girl, how is our favorite boy this morning?” He walked over to the other side of his bed and shed his long, black overcoat, placing it in the closet on a hanger.
“He’s fine. No change, but he’s fine. Just sleeping.” She took her post by the side of him and started to eat.
Pulling a thermos out from somewhere, he used the lid for a cup. Talon House Blend wafted into the room. “When you’re done with that cup Lana, I have some coffee from the Talon, if you’d prefer it to this garbage.” He gestured to her cup and smiled. A little too brightly.
“No thank you, Mr. Luthor. I’m growing kind of fond of the ‘garbage’ here.” She sat back in her chair to look him down, chewing on a piece of her muffin.
“Alright, then.” He sat down in the other chair, taking hold of Lex’s hand, his thumb stroking his fingers.
She ate in silence, and pushed the tray away. Grabbing a book she had brought from home, she started to read out loud.
MARK but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is ;
It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead ;
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pamper'd swells with one blood made of two ;
And this, alas ! is more than we would do.
O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
Though parents grudge, and you, we're met,
And cloister'd in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that self-murder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.
Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it suck'd from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thou
Find'st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
'Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;
Just so much honour, when thou yield'st to me,
Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.
She sat back, placing the bookmark in the page and setting it between her and the chair.
“John Donne, Miss Lang? Very impressive.” Lionel sat up a little to look at her, scrutinize her. “A fascination that you and Lex share I see. You know I always told him that his study of prose as well as history would someday get his what he wanted.” A chuckle. “Aren’t you what he wanted, Lana?”
She sat up taller and leaned over Lex a little more. “Mr. Luthor, your son didn’t win me like some cattle to be sold off at auction. I am his friend. I love him and I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut when what you say neither concerns you nor is the truth. Are we clear?” She looked him directly in the eyes, what she knew would be that hardest to do and waited, for something. Her heart was racing, he mind ablaze with retorts she could use against him if she needed to.
“Well done, Lana. Well done.” That was all he said as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his right forefinger over his mouth in contemplation.
“Good.” She sat back, blank-faced. Her heart was still beating hard, but because she had won a battle she was so sure she would lose. Grabbing Lex’s hand one more time she leaned down and kissed it, her breath tickling his skin in hopes of a reaction, like the doctors had asked for. “Thank you, Mr. Luthor.”
The day was hers, for now.
Chapter Three
It was dawn and they were lying in the grass near her Aunt Nell’s old farm. His body was slim, a little bony in places, and warm. She laid there under a blanket, leaning into his form, content and quiet. They were discussing their pasts.
“You know, if I didn’t know you better Mr. Luthor, I would say that you were the ever-diligent student.” She laughed a little.
“I was hardly the star student at Excelsior, but I did have the highest GPA of the class. Even the headmaster called me a maniacal genius. Said I mirrored Einstein in the theories of relativity.” He smiled a little, and kissed her on the forehead. “Enough about that.” He pushed her up and stood up himself, dusting off his back.
He leaned in and put his arms around her shoulders, his hands in her thick hair. “I love you, Lana Lang.”
“I love you, Lex Luthor.” She wrapped her arms around his chest and leaned in to kiss him on his mouth.
A warm hand laid on her shoulder, shaking her gently. “Lana?”
She looked up, blinking the sleep away, irritated slightly that her dream was interrupted. “Yeah, Clark, what’s up?”
A handsome, earthy face, filled with so much of his own love for her, looked down at her with one of his award-winning smiles. “Mom sent me by to get your clothes so she could wash them. Chloe wanted to know what you needed from her, and Lois told me to tell you that the Talon is fine and she was going to ‘bag me’ as soon as she saw me again for the crap I keep putting her through everyday, helping out.” His grin got bigger, if it was possible.
She smiled, “Thanks, Clark.” Standing up, she grabbed the bag of her laundry, and handed it over. “Tell Chloe, it A-OK here and I need nothing. Really. Tell Lois, I’m happy she’s helping out, and I hope everything is okay for her doing this for me.”
Clark took the bag, brushing her fingers. “I miss you Lana, I really do.”
Lana turned away, facing the bed, looking down at Lex.
“Can we please talk about this, Lana? I thought we were finally getting to that place you wanted us to be at. You with the sharing and tell each other secrets? I’m you’re friend, or did you forget about that?” He sounded incredibly hurt.
“Clark,” she began, “I can’t do this now.”
“Okay, Lana, I understand.” He started to back away, walking for the door. “I’ll just say that we’re on a break, alright? That might make it easier for both of us.” He paused as he was swinging the door shut, “He’s hid things from you too, just remember that, okay?”
She shook her head and let the tears fall down her face. She laid her head down on his chest and cried. Eventually, somehow, she ended lying there next to him, where she dreamed along with him.
When the nurse came in to take his evening’s vitals, Lex’s hand was curled around Lana’s shoulder, possessively.
Chapter Three
He closed his eyes and waited to hear her footsteps tip-tap into his study. Many, many times, he had wished for this; the time when he’d tell her the truth and wait to see what she’d say. Unfortunately, she’d already been told and even though he’d been shot, in a coma, and then transported quickly home, he’d have to face the reality of his actions.
Today.
Now.
The door came open after a slight knock, and she appeared. She didn’t know about the dream, the choices he’d made since. He wasn’t going to watch the fragile petals of this flower wither and die because of him making selfish choices. Not if he had the power to stop it. And he did. That was precisely what he didn’t want her to know.
When he had woken from the deep sleep his body had thrown his body into, he decided that from that moment on, she would be his first priority. Her slightly crooked teeth; her supple lips; the laughs that came from the times when he acted like an ass. He was going to save her, be her messiah. Only, she wasn’t going to know it.
“Lex.” His name was a sigh on passing from her lips and he smiled. He stood up and walked around the desk to meet her and hug her tightly.
“Hey, Lana. How are you?” He closed his eyes when they wrapped their arms around each other, savoring the feel of their bodies being pressed together for that moment.
“Better now that you’re okay.” She pulled back, but kept her hands on his lower arms. “You had us scared, Lex Luthor.”
He closed his eyes for a minute, remembering another time in the recesses of his mind, ‘I love you too, Lex Luthor. You’re a good man.’ He shrugged it off. “I didn’t mean to put you through anything unnecessary, Lana. I only wish I could have been there when you told my father off.”
She grinned, stopping his heart again for the millionth time in the last few moments. “I had to. He was being such a jerk.”
“Thank you, Lana.” He looked at her with warmth and regard. “Thank you, so much.”
That stopped her for a moment, and then she smiled again. “Come on, let’s sit down and talk. You owe me one.”
They walked over to the couch next to the fireplace and faced each other. He took her hands, absentmindedly stroking the tops of her fingers. She licked her lips and settled back. “So…”
“So.”
“You had a bad dream. You were yelling and screaming when they finally brought you out of it the other night. Wanna talk about it?” She looked at him meekly, waiting for him to open up.
Should I tell her, he asked himself. Do I tell her that in the future, if I give all this up to be the person I want to be inside, she dies, and the only love I’ve ever known; the only true love, dies with her? He threw all this around in his head, looking at the floor, the stained glass windows, anywhere but at her. The fight inside of him was almost too much for him to bear. Finally, it came to him. He could have her, yes, he could. Just work it around a little. Have her for now, the voice in his head said to him. What is it that Tennyson had said? ‘ 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’
He took a deep breath, his eyes carefully non-committal. “I don’t want to talk about that. Really. It’s just the insecurities that I have inside that no one needs to bother themselves with. If you had even a moment of time to spend dipping into my psyche, you’d damage yourself for a very long time, Lana.”
She smiled. “Do you want to talk about us then?”
He dropped her hands and rounded the couch, heading for the bar. “Would you care for a drink before we talk? I know I could use one.”
She nodded and he grabbed two small glasses. Then he came back carefully, and set their glasses down on the glass table in front of them. “So,” he began, rubbing his hands together slightly, “what did you want to talk about?”
She steeled herself, although she was shaking inside. “I wanted to talk about our feelings, Lex, you know, getting them out in the open.” She looked away.
He drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. “Alright.” He sat there, wondering where to begin.
She reached over and took his large hands in his. “While you were sleeping, I thought about what I wanted to say. In a million years, I never would have thought I’d be sitting here, on your couch, talking about this. After our ride together, before your accident, though, I knew then that I needed to get this out.”
She gulped. “I saw you with that girl. The one in the pool.” He nodded and leaned in closer. “You were naked, on that lounger and were whispering things to her, things, God, that I had never heard up to that point. You were clinging to her, like she was your lifeboat in a dead ocean. I saw the feelings on your face and knew then—at that moment, I wanted to be her. I wanted to have you naked, quoting prose to me while you were running your hands all over me…” She faded off, searching his face for any emotion. None was to be found. “Lex?” She asked quietly.
“You were attracted Lana, nothing more. I mean come on, a girl of ten walking in to seeing two people enjoying each other’s company? Not something I’d say I would use as an opening line to negotiations for a relationship.” He leaned back into the arm of the couch, spreading his hands. “I was your Romeo at ten. How about at 19? Can you honestly say that I inspire those thoughts in you even now?” Inside, he was silently hoping she’d say no, that he could walk away from this unscarred and still be able to smile at that face with the friendship he should have.
Consciously though, he made a decision. Leaning into her, he smelled the mint and hint of latte on her breath, and whispered, “Could I take you Lana? Take you to heights you’ve never been to? Play with your dreams and make you mine, all with the intention of pulling and tugging at your heart until it wants nothing but to be with me? Make myself your obsession?”
A pause, and he leaned closer, his mouth a breath away now.
“Could you love me for the rest of your life knowing me like you do?”
She stared at him, stunned. Quietly, meekly, she whispered back, “You are a good man, Lex Luthor.”
And with that, he was lost—he met her mouth in a fury worthy of any God, plundering her with his tongue and teeth. Muffled he added, “You will be the death of me, Lana Lang.”
He was damned.
Too Many Reasons
By: Randie
Rating: PG-13 for now, who knows about later
Disclaimer: I own nothing, abosolutely nothing, these people are just my toys
Summary: What happens when Lex tells her the truth about his feelings?
Spoilers: Up to and after Lexmas, non canon after that
Prologue
He closed his eyes and leaned back in the leather chair behind his desk, swirling the brandy in his snifter a little. The fireplace crackled in the background as he contemplated his next move. His father had called an hour before to tell him he was coming to visit the plant in two days to go over the profit and loss statement for that quarter. And, he added, to look at the employee records to do some marginal downsizing. He wished, right then, that his other half had not goaded the old man into reverting to his former ways. Lex rather liked the philanthropic Lionel more than the commandeering one.
The doors to his office sanctuary came open and he opened his heavy eyes to see who was the intruder. One of his security staff had dropped him a little present for his afternoon, making it a little brighter. A small smile teased the corner of his mouth and eyes and he set his glass down and stood up, walking around his desk to take her hand.
Lana Lang.
The tempest beauty from the small hick town; the one being since Helen that he had broken through his shell for, to love with all his being. As much as he could anyway. As much as he hated his other half, he had done the one thing that he had wanted to do for so long, and for that he was thankful. Too bad he hadn’t felt it or remembered it, then he would have finally felt what it would be to be in heaven, cause God knew he wasn’t going there.
“Lana,” he said casually, “what can I do for you this afternoon?”
She smiled, her eyes and nose crinkling just so, “Well, I thought we could talk about some things I was thinking of doing for the Talon before I went away for that month in June. I know its coming up, and we’ve been too busy with other-“ she looked down for a moment, “things, that I thought this would be a good day to get it done.”
He thought about it for a moment, tapping his finger to his lip, and reached for his cell phone. Calling a number real quick, he voiced into the phone, “Hello. Can you tell the stables I’ll be there in twenty minutes, with a guest, san then can you cancel any other business for the rest of the day? Thank you.”
Walking back around his desk, he took off his tie, shut the laptop and slammed what little liquor there was left in the glass. Coming back to her, he reached for her hand, pulling it to his, kissing the knuckles eloquently. “I am all yours for the rest of the foreseeable future, Miss Lang. And to truly discuss the Talon without any distractions, we need to do it in the free air.”
She smiled, “Let’s go.”
They rode for what seemed like forever, nothing between them, but horseflesh and air. Small clouds were gathering in the sky above them, and the tension was ebbing away slowly with every step. Clouds were gathering in the distance and a slight chill slipped through as their time together progressed. So far in their discussion, all they had covered was changing the daily specials.
Coming to a grove of trees, Lana dismounted and walked her horse over to rest. Lex circled, then also jumping off his ride, walking over to meet her.
“So, what else did you want to discuss?”
She smiled. “Well, if you must know, its kind of complicated.” She took a deep breath. Lex, patient as always, waited with baited breath. “ I wanted to talk about the spaceship.”
He reached inside his saddlebag and grabbed a couple of rolled up blankets. Spreading one out, he offered her to sit and then handed the other to cover herself with. “Well, what did you want to know?”
She sobered. “I was wondering why you didn’t tell me sooner. I mean, you said partner and that’s great, but I really need to know why.”
He thought about it for a moment and turned his head toward the clouds in the distance. “Something’s looming in the distance, Lana, and I don’t really want to get you involved. That’s the only reason you weren’t told right off.” He looked at her then, his head half-crooked.
She stared into his eyes as he gathered her hands together with his. “You mean too much to me, Lana. Too much to be jeopardized by something like this.”
She thought she saw him flinch—lust a little, as he said those words. Putting an arm around her shoulders, he gave her a sly smile.
Taking a deep breath, she voiced her question softly, almost unrecognizable, “Lex, are you in love with me?”
She felt him arm twitch, and his head turned away once again. “Lana, I’ve told you many times, no feelings or desires that I have will ever come between our friendship. I can’t possibly tell you many more times without sounding very redundant.” He looked back at her. “Regardless of how I feel, you belong to Clark. He’s my friend. That’s something I can never tread over lightly.”
She curled into herself, pulling the blanket closer, thinking.
“What’s wrong?” He looked concerned.
“You never answered the question.” She averted her eyes quickly, knowing that one look from him, she would let it die, but now she knew she needed to know—no more games.
He sighed and turned her chin to look at him; his eyes drinking her in all the while, and moisture gathering slightly at the corners. Shakily, he said, “Yes, Lana. I do.”
Chapter One
Yesterday hadn’t gone well. Their ‘meeting’ they were supposed to have, turned into confession from Lex and the quiet treatment from Lana. Today, however, Lana was determined to get more information from her friend. Regardless of how he felt about telling her, she needed to know how long this has been going on. Actually she had a lot more questions going on in her head, but that was the number one thought she could get a grip on.
The Talon provided a great refuge while she thought about their little problem.
It was dark out and there were many people still about outside, shopping for the holidays. In fact, the business had picked up to the point that Lois had even come in to help out, and she had been called in from Metropolis. Not that she wasn’t already headed here, but still, the fact of the matter remained that she was called in on her way back to Smallville.
Lana settled in with the books, checking them over, when she got a call on the store’s line. “Hello?”
It was Clark. “Lana, its Lex.” He started slowly.
“Clark, what’s going on?” She held her breath.
“He was robbed, Lana, robbed in the street and then shot. He’s been brought into Smallville Medical Center, but they don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Her heart slowed, then quickened, in a pattern that she didn’t know was evolving into a panic attack. “I’ll be right there, Clark.”
Grabbing her purse, she headed out the door to her SUV.
She stood at the window of his room with her palm flat on the glass. Fat, lonely teardrops slid down her cheeks, which were already too red from crying. The doctors had told them he was in a coma. They weren’t sure if was going to come out of it, and that wasn’t acceptable to her. She had planned on them talking about yesterday. That was the whole point of getting everything that she wanted to say together in her head, like a story she could tell with eyes closed since she knew all the words.
His skin color was like ash. He looked dead.
You couldn’t even really tell that he was breathing unless you were standing so close you could touch his chest, or were reading the monitors lining his bed. She shook her head and wiped the right side of her cheeks.
Lex Luthor.
Senator Luthor.
Senator Lex Luthor.
Such dreams and aspirations he had, not like Jonathan Kent had a chance, she mused, actually wondering where that came from. With Lex in the running, no one could win, she was sure of it. None of that mattered now, she thought as she wiped the left side.
Steeling herself for the night, she grabbed the door handle and pushed it in, and closing it silently behind her. Grabbing a uncomfortable looking easy chair, she pulled it over to his bedside and sat up, grabbing his hand. “Come back to me, Lex, you bastard. You can’t do this, we need to talk about, you know…” Her voice trailed off and she started to sob, hard, and in earnest. She reached even further up and laid her head on his chest, holding on hand, and her other resting softly on his cheek.
Clark watched from the window, the man of steel finally meeting his match.
Chapter Two
Her eyes were closed and a flimsy pale blue blanket that the hospital staff had given her covered her. She had slept there for days now, changed there, ate there, and they even let her shower there. She had not left his side since she had gone home to pack a bag.
Lois had come to the hospital and Lana had asked her to take over everything at the Talon until Lex woke up and she had agreed, take piles of notes, invoicing information, and other things needed to keep Lana’s real life going. Mrs. Kent had brought her a dish of apple cobbler to keep her warm one night. Mr. Kent had brought a coverlet for the chair she slept in, covered in wool, to make it tolerable for her back. Chloe had brought some books; mystery, romance, and intrigue. She hadn’t touched them. Clark came once in awhile, but all they did was sit and stare at the ceiling, not talking, except for the niceties, and basically making the room as silent as a tomb.
Her time had been spent talking to Lex and the doctors. Lionel came in from time to time, checking in, offering advice. She ignored him mostly.
Today though, he was coming to sit with Lex too.
She would have to share Lex with his father.
His father that inwardly hated his son.
He was weak as a child; asthma. Weak as a teenager; bald and pathetic, always feeling sorry for himself. Weak as an adult; couldn’t kill his father when he was pitiful and deceitful.
Lana hated him. Hated him more now that he had decided to play the good father to the people that had surrounded Lex; that wanted to fix him. He was despicable, and she knew it.
But, because Lex was out, she would deal with him.
That was why her eyes were still closed.
If she could keep her dreams going, then she could pretend that Lex was awake, and that they had had their talk, and she had already shared her feelings with him. While her eyes were closed, she could keep this life, knowing that Lex had already woke up, and that everything was going to be okay. In her dreams, she was going to be his queen; castles she had only dreamed about, all theirs in her mind. Away from Smallville, Metropolis. Maybe in France. She loved France, and knew that was one thing they had shared as well.
In France then.
A nurse touched her shoulder, causing her to jump, startled when her hand had left Lex’s. The kindly nurse smiled down at her, “Sorry Lana,” she blushed a little, “I was coming by to check his vitals and wanted to know what you wanted for breakfast this morning. Oh, and Mr. Luthor is on his was. He left the mansion a few minutes ago and had one of the staff phone here.”
Lana rubbed her eyes and sighed. “I’ll have a ton of coffee and a muffin if there’s any today. Guess I missed the chance for a shower, but I’m changing before Lionel gets here.” So he can’t be alone with Lex, she thought to herself, Lex would never forgive me if I left that madman in there with him.
She stood up and leaned down to kiss his forehead. Placing a hand on his cheek, she whispered to him, “Be back in a minute Lex. If your dad comes in, ignore him. I have a plan of how we’re going to deal with him today.” She kissed him on the cheek, and then walked out to go to the bathroom.
A few minutes later, she came back just a Lionel Luthor was walking into the room. Her coffee and muffin, as well as a fruit plate, sat on Lex’s bedside table waiting for her. “Hello, Mr. Luthor,” she said quietly.
“Lana, my dear girl, how is our favorite boy this morning?” He walked over to the other side of his bed and shed his long, black overcoat, placing it in the closet on a hanger.
“He’s fine. No change, but he’s fine. Just sleeping.” She took her post by the side of him and started to eat.
Pulling a thermos out from somewhere, he used the lid for a cup. Talon House Blend wafted into the room. “When you’re done with that cup Lana, I have some coffee from the Talon, if you’d prefer it to this garbage.” He gestured to her cup and smiled. A little too brightly.
“No thank you, Mr. Luthor. I’m growing kind of fond of the ‘garbage’ here.” She sat back in her chair to look him down, chewing on a piece of her muffin.
“Alright, then.” He sat down in the other chair, taking hold of Lex’s hand, his thumb stroking his fingers.
She ate in silence, and pushed the tray away. Grabbing a book she had brought from home, she started to read out loud.
MARK but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is ;
It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead ;
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pamper'd swells with one blood made of two ;
And this, alas ! is more than we would do.
O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
Though parents grudge, and you, we're met,
And cloister'd in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that self-murder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.
Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it suck'd from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thou
Find'st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
'Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;
Just so much honour, when thou yield'st to me,
Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.
She sat back, placing the bookmark in the page and setting it between her and the chair.
“John Donne, Miss Lang? Very impressive.” Lionel sat up a little to look at her, scrutinize her. “A fascination that you and Lex share I see. You know I always told him that his study of prose as well as history would someday get his what he wanted.” A chuckle. “Aren’t you what he wanted, Lana?”
She sat up taller and leaned over Lex a little more. “Mr. Luthor, your son didn’t win me like some cattle to be sold off at auction. I am his friend. I love him and I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut when what you say neither concerns you nor is the truth. Are we clear?” She looked him directly in the eyes, what she knew would be that hardest to do and waited, for something. Her heart was racing, he mind ablaze with retorts she could use against him if she needed to.
“Well done, Lana. Well done.” That was all he said as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his right forefinger over his mouth in contemplation.
“Good.” She sat back, blank-faced. Her heart was still beating hard, but because she had won a battle she was so sure she would lose. Grabbing Lex’s hand one more time she leaned down and kissed it, her breath tickling his skin in hopes of a reaction, like the doctors had asked for. “Thank you, Mr. Luthor.”
The day was hers, for now.
Chapter Three
It was dawn and they were lying in the grass near her Aunt Nell’s old farm. His body was slim, a little bony in places, and warm. She laid there under a blanket, leaning into his form, content and quiet. They were discussing their pasts.
“You know, if I didn’t know you better Mr. Luthor, I would say that you were the ever-diligent student.” She laughed a little.
“I was hardly the star student at Excelsior, but I did have the highest GPA of the class. Even the headmaster called me a maniacal genius. Said I mirrored Einstein in the theories of relativity.” He smiled a little, and kissed her on the forehead. “Enough about that.” He pushed her up and stood up himself, dusting off his back.
He leaned in and put his arms around her shoulders, his hands in her thick hair. “I love you, Lana Lang.”
“I love you, Lex Luthor.” She wrapped her arms around his chest and leaned in to kiss him on his mouth.
A warm hand laid on her shoulder, shaking her gently. “Lana?”
She looked up, blinking the sleep away, irritated slightly that her dream was interrupted. “Yeah, Clark, what’s up?”
A handsome, earthy face, filled with so much of his own love for her, looked down at her with one of his award-winning smiles. “Mom sent me by to get your clothes so she could wash them. Chloe wanted to know what you needed from her, and Lois told me to tell you that the Talon is fine and she was going to ‘bag me’ as soon as she saw me again for the crap I keep putting her through everyday, helping out.” His grin got bigger, if it was possible.
She smiled, “Thanks, Clark.” Standing up, she grabbed the bag of her laundry, and handed it over. “Tell Chloe, it A-OK here and I need nothing. Really. Tell Lois, I’m happy she’s helping out, and I hope everything is okay for her doing this for me.”
Clark took the bag, brushing her fingers. “I miss you Lana, I really do.”
Lana turned away, facing the bed, looking down at Lex.
“Can we please talk about this, Lana? I thought we were finally getting to that place you wanted us to be at. You with the sharing and tell each other secrets? I’m you’re friend, or did you forget about that?” He sounded incredibly hurt.
“Clark,” she began, “I can’t do this now.”
“Okay, Lana, I understand.” He started to back away, walking for the door. “I’ll just say that we’re on a break, alright? That might make it easier for both of us.” He paused as he was swinging the door shut, “He’s hid things from you too, just remember that, okay?”
She shook her head and let the tears fall down her face. She laid her head down on his chest and cried. Eventually, somehow, she ended lying there next to him, where she dreamed along with him.
When the nurse came in to take his evening’s vitals, Lex’s hand was curled around Lana’s shoulder, possessively.
Chapter Three
He closed his eyes and waited to hear her footsteps tip-tap into his study. Many, many times, he had wished for this; the time when he’d tell her the truth and wait to see what she’d say. Unfortunately, she’d already been told and even though he’d been shot, in a coma, and then transported quickly home, he’d have to face the reality of his actions.
Today.
Now.
The door came open after a slight knock, and she appeared. She didn’t know about the dream, the choices he’d made since. He wasn’t going to watch the fragile petals of this flower wither and die because of him making selfish choices. Not if he had the power to stop it. And he did. That was precisely what he didn’t want her to know.
When he had woken from the deep sleep his body had thrown his body into, he decided that from that moment on, she would be his first priority. Her slightly crooked teeth; her supple lips; the laughs that came from the times when he acted like an ass. He was going to save her, be her messiah. Only, she wasn’t going to know it.
“Lex.” His name was a sigh on passing from her lips and he smiled. He stood up and walked around the desk to meet her and hug her tightly.
“Hey, Lana. How are you?” He closed his eyes when they wrapped their arms around each other, savoring the feel of their bodies being pressed together for that moment.
“Better now that you’re okay.” She pulled back, but kept her hands on his lower arms. “You had us scared, Lex Luthor.”
He closed his eyes for a minute, remembering another time in the recesses of his mind, ‘I love you too, Lex Luthor. You’re a good man.’ He shrugged it off. “I didn’t mean to put you through anything unnecessary, Lana. I only wish I could have been there when you told my father off.”
She grinned, stopping his heart again for the millionth time in the last few moments. “I had to. He was being such a jerk.”
“Thank you, Lana.” He looked at her with warmth and regard. “Thank you, so much.”
That stopped her for a moment, and then she smiled again. “Come on, let’s sit down and talk. You owe me one.”
They walked over to the couch next to the fireplace and faced each other. He took her hands, absentmindedly stroking the tops of her fingers. She licked her lips and settled back. “So…”
“So.”
“You had a bad dream. You were yelling and screaming when they finally brought you out of it the other night. Wanna talk about it?” She looked at him meekly, waiting for him to open up.
Should I tell her, he asked himself. Do I tell her that in the future, if I give all this up to be the person I want to be inside, she dies, and the only love I’ve ever known; the only true love, dies with her? He threw all this around in his head, looking at the floor, the stained glass windows, anywhere but at her. The fight inside of him was almost too much for him to bear. Finally, it came to him. He could have her, yes, he could. Just work it around a little. Have her for now, the voice in his head said to him. What is it that Tennyson had said? ‘ 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’
He took a deep breath, his eyes carefully non-committal. “I don’t want to talk about that. Really. It’s just the insecurities that I have inside that no one needs to bother themselves with. If you had even a moment of time to spend dipping into my psyche, you’d damage yourself for a very long time, Lana.”
She smiled. “Do you want to talk about us then?”
He dropped her hands and rounded the couch, heading for the bar. “Would you care for a drink before we talk? I know I could use one.”
She nodded and he grabbed two small glasses. Then he came back carefully, and set their glasses down on the glass table in front of them. “So,” he began, rubbing his hands together slightly, “what did you want to talk about?”
She steeled herself, although she was shaking inside. “I wanted to talk about our feelings, Lex, you know, getting them out in the open.” She looked away.
He drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. “Alright.” He sat there, wondering where to begin.
She reached over and took his large hands in his. “While you were sleeping, I thought about what I wanted to say. In a million years, I never would have thought I’d be sitting here, on your couch, talking about this. After our ride together, before your accident, though, I knew then that I needed to get this out.”
She gulped. “I saw you with that girl. The one in the pool.” He nodded and leaned in closer. “You were naked, on that lounger and were whispering things to her, things, God, that I had never heard up to that point. You were clinging to her, like she was your lifeboat in a dead ocean. I saw the feelings on your face and knew then—at that moment, I wanted to be her. I wanted to have you naked, quoting prose to me while you were running your hands all over me…” She faded off, searching his face for any emotion. None was to be found. “Lex?” She asked quietly.
“You were attracted Lana, nothing more. I mean come on, a girl of ten walking in to seeing two people enjoying each other’s company? Not something I’d say I would use as an opening line to negotiations for a relationship.” He leaned back into the arm of the couch, spreading his hands. “I was your Romeo at ten. How about at 19? Can you honestly say that I inspire those thoughts in you even now?” Inside, he was silently hoping she’d say no, that he could walk away from this unscarred and still be able to smile at that face with the friendship he should have.
Consciously though, he made a decision. Leaning into her, he smelled the mint and hint of latte on her breath, and whispered, “Could I take you Lana? Take you to heights you’ve never been to? Play with your dreams and make you mine, all with the intention of pulling and tugging at your heart until it wants nothing but to be with me? Make myself your obsession?”
A pause, and he leaned closer, his mouth a breath away now.
“Could you love me for the rest of your life knowing me like you do?”
She stared at him, stunned. Quietly, meekly, she whispered back, “You are a good man, Lex Luthor.”
And with that, he was lost—he met her mouth in a fury worthy of any God, plundering her with his tongue and teeth. Muffled he added, “You will be the death of me, Lana Lang.”
He was damned.
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