Lines you will never hear on Smallville

[AngelMamaKent]

Originally posted by sweetiepieeyed
Mamakent: Clark just to let you know. If you ever watch a certain Superman movie you will need serious therapy.
Clark: WHY?
mAMAKENT: beacause I am Lana Lang

... see, I still have my rock *pulls out megadiamond Supes gave her in Superman III*

I know they can't realistically watch the Superman movies in SV, but they could run a clip of Clark watching the Dukes of Hazzard ...

[UDStyle]

Originally posted by sweetiepieeyed
Mamakent: Clark just to let you know. If you ever watch a certain Superman movie you will need serious therapy.
Clark: WHY?
mAMAKENT: beacause I am Lana Lang

Clark: OH MY GOD! I'm in love with my mom!
Sigmund Freud: (Pointing his finger and winking his eye) Who's the man?

[sweetiepieeyed]

Originally posted by UDStyle


Clark: OH MY GOD! I'm in love with my mom!
Sigmund Freud: (Pointing his finger and winking his eye) Who's the man?

Sigmund Freud: Tell me Clark what seems to be the trouble
Clark: Well it turns out i have been having 'you know" those kind of thoughts about my mother.
SF: wELL CLARK that is perfectly normal blah blah blah those kind of thoughts are healthy to a teenagers sexual development
Clark: Really??
later that day, martha comes into the barn.
Clark (wearing nothing but a smile and holding a bowl of cherries) HELLLOOOOO mama!

[Gwen Sullivan]

NAUGHTY.

[ClarksGirl21]

Clark to Lana : Next time I'm not going to save you

[KryptonianIdiot]

[Clark puts the key in the cave wall]

Jor-El: Can you hear me now? Good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jor-El: Clark, you must save everyone's lives from the world's most horrible force!

Clark: What's that?

Jor-El: The color PINK!

Clark: Whew! Thank GOD Lana went goth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jor-El: Go do mah bidding.

Clark: Why?

Jor-El: Cause I'm really Cartman and my show's been on longer than yours FOOL!

[the real kyle rayner]

Pete: Once you've had black, you need a WHEELCHAIR!

Pete: Hey Clark, I thought I'd come and visit you during the holidays. We gonna go hang out at Crater Lake like you always say.

Lana: Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know.

Whitney: Wow, who thought faking my death with Force Recon and working in SE Asia with the CIA would be so much fun. Lookout, here's trouble.

Clark: I miss Kyla, Alicia, and every girl who's showed interest in me and died.

Lionel: So how's your little brother these days, Lex?

Clark: Is grandpa coming over for christmas, mom?

Brodie: Clark man, be careful with Lana. Aim at the ceiling. I bet you'd blow a load like a shot gun right through her back.

Clark to anyone in his loft: I do have a cellphone you know, you can't just rock up without calling, I might have a girl up here.

Lex: Clark, it seems like you only want to come over when you have a problem. What kind of friend are you?

Clark: Meet my best friend ; Kenny Braverman. Kenny, this is Lana.

Chris Rock/Eddie Murphy: Pete, you can't be a black and the vice-president. There will never be one. This is because a black man would then shoot the president. Hell, I'd shoot the president.

Martha: I don't know how we're always in debt when we have superboy working on the farm and no wages to pay anyone else. And plus, why isn't the federal government subsidising us?

Lana: Running a business when I was 16 and still getting high grades was really difficult.

Lex: This is why I can run Luthorcorp from Smallville.

Chloe: I'm going to give up on me and Clark.

[UDStyle]

Lana: Clark theres something really important i have to tell you.. about us. You see..

Clark: (Interupting) Baby before you go on, where's the pay?

-----------------------------



God: Wait a second, who are you? How did you get here?

Clark: Well you see..

God: You're not even human!

Clark: I know, that's what I'm trying to tel..

God: You're not part of my Earthly benevolent plan. (waving his hands) No, no, no nothing about this adds up at all.

-----------------------------

*Clark steps behind Lana*

Clark: (in a soft voice as he starts to rub Lana's ears) Hey Lana

Lana: (mild euphoria in her tone) Ohhhhhh, hey Clark, umm.. (Snaps out of it) Clark we need to go.. do the thing.. that we, uh talked about.. before.

Clark: ...?

Lana: (Grabing clark's hand and pulls him to follow) Just c'mon!

*Dustin hoffman and Barbra Steisand look on from afar*

Barbra: *sigh*

Dustin: Yep, we Fockerized him.

[richboy_lex]

Anyone on the show: POP GOES THE WEASEL, WOO SAH!!!!

[Daddylion]

Clark: I'm not afraid of attractive women. Why would you think that?

*a group of hot girls show up*

Girls: Hiii Claaarrkk!

Clark: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!!

Oh wait, that's already happened in Recruit...

nice avatar btw richboy_lex

[neilmajithia]

clark: (singing r kelly) i belive i can flyyyy!

[Gwen Sullivan]

Chloe: I wonder why I always have that great hair only a hair stylist could make, even though I am a smalltown girl in the middle of nowhere with no shops or a gay hairdresser to tell me what's in. Man, am I talented!

The FBI: There's that small town in Kansas where a lot of murders seem to happen, there's always someone trying to kill somebody. And it's the town with the most dangerous meteor shower in American history. Shouldn't we investigate what's going wrong there?

Lana: Have you seen my straightening iron?

Remy Zero: Hey Pete, thanks for pimping us. You made us sell 3.000 more copies of "The golden hum".

Jonathan: Somehow I suddenly feel like doing more farmjobs in my undershirt. Sweaty jobs. With jeans that make my butt look nice. I don't know why, but I just feel like it.
Gwen: HEH.

Lex: Somehow I suddenly feel like working out in tight shorts a lot more. It's hot in here. I should take my shirt off.
Gwen: HEH. HEH.

Mini-me: I think we should take over the world.
Lex: Oh shut up... I'll send him back to the LittleMeanieShop tomorrow.
Mini-me: Hey, I heard that.

[Prodigal]

Lex:
Hey Clark, wanna conquer the world with me?

Clark:
Sure, could i use my jeans?

Prodigal ®

[Arista 07]

Clark and Lex (together)

"1 - 2- 3 - 4. I declare a thumb war."

[Dark_Valkyrie]

Lana: Clark, I don't know you anymore.
Clark: Yeah, well, at least I don't flip out the second something weird happens. If you turned into a witch through torture, I'd hate to see what you'd turn into through pleasure..
Lana: Unfortunately, I haven't been having much action since the whole "tatoo" incident. It's Jason.. I think he's not being honest with me.
Clark: You think that about everyone.
Lana : Well, I'm right, aren't I?
Clark: ....
Lana: C'mon. Be honest with me, for once! What's wrong with me?
Clark: ...nothing
Lana: TELL ME OR I'M GOING PSYCHO!
Clark: It's the pink.
Lana: .. the pink?
Clark: The pink.
Lana: Oh. *takes of shirt* Is that better?
Clark, smiling: ....... Much ........ *drools*