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Author: Phoenixnz
Title: Goodbye Stranger
Genre: Angst, episode related
Characters: Dean, Sam
Rating: PG
Summary: Dean's thoughts as they drive away after Castiel almost killed him.
a/n: The dialogue is directly from the episode but Dean's thoughts are from my imagination. For those who haven't seen the episode I try to summarise what has gone on before as briefly as I can. I haven't seen the rest of the season yet, so these are my imaginings of Dean's thoughts at that moment in time.
Dean kept his eyes on the road as they drove away, wishing there was something he could have done to stop Meg being killed. Still, he knew Meg would have just laughed in his face and told him to **** off. This was her choice – her redemption, he supposed. She’d probably known she was dead the moment Crowley showed his face.
The thing about Meg was, yes, she was a demon, but since they had been reluctantly working together, she was the only one who had always been honest with him. She’d told it to him straight. Unlike Cas, who had clearly been lying to him about a lot of things.
When had things got so turned around that a demon was the only one whose word he could trust and he had stopped trusting the one person/being who had been his friend? His ... well, he guessed he could have called Cas family.
After Cas had gone all power-mad and taken all the monsters of Purgatory inside him. That was probably when. Or maybe it was before that, when he’d become embroiled in a war between angels and demons, leaving humans smack bang in the middle of it. Dean had wanted no part of their Holy war. There’d been too many wars over the centuries fought over religion. Although was it really about religion between angels and demons? It gave him a headache just thinking about it.
The point was, Cas had lied to him, refused to tell him the truth about how he’d got out of Purgatory. Dean understood now, since it seemed that Cas was being brainwashed by someone called Naomi. He’d been almost completely sucked in to the point where he’d almost killed Dean. And wasn’t that a mind-**** and a half, Dean thought.
It hurt that the angel who had saved him from forty years of literal Hell could turn on him so completely. God, the world was just so screwed up right now.
Then there was Sam. Who, for all his claims that he could do these trials which would help them close the gates of Hell forever, was clearly not okay. The trials were killing him.
Sam frowned at him.
“So ... what happened? I mean, Cas touched the tablet, and it reset him to his factory settings or something?”
Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. And I don’t care. All I know is that he is off the reservation with a heavenly WMD.” He sighed softly, not wanting his brother to know how much it had hurt, knowing Sam had lied to him once again. It had just started feeling like they were getting back on track, especially after what had happened with Amelia, and now ...
“Listen man, I can’t take any more lies. From anyone.”
Sam looked at him for a long moment, and had the grace to look a little ashamed. Dean turned back to look out into the darkness and the rain.
“Yeah. Um ... I know, I’m sorry. I should have told you. I – I just wanted to believe I was okay. I don’t know.”
Did Sam really think that, or was it something he thought his brother wanted to hear? Sam could be stoic when he wanted to, even though most of the time he was a crybaby. Except when they were on the job. For a big guy, Sam could be soft when he needed to, like he could draw on the right sort of emotions, but on the job he was as tough as they came. And he could lie with the best of them, especially to Dean.
Still, Dean had had enough. A year in Purgatory and he’d come back to find Sam hadn’t even looked for him; for a way to get him out. He’d got on with his life. Sure, Sam deserved to have that life, and all things considered, Dean had also tried to have a life. With Lisa. But Destiny just kept coming on a-knocking on their door, so what was he supposed to do? Ignore it? You can’t fight Fate, he sighed.
“You heard what Cas said; that the first trial hurt you in ways that even he can’t heal. Sammy, I need you to be honest with me from here on out, man.”
Those stupid trials. Why was everything a trial? Hadn’t they been through enough after God knew how many apocalypses? Apocalypsi? Whatever! He was sure there was some kind of screwed-up term for it. Damned if he could think of it.
Sam just nodded. “You’re right. And I will be.”
Yeah, why did Dean not believe him? Still, he had to try to get something back. Their lives were screwed up enough and they’d already lost so much. He couldn’t stand it if he lost his brother too.
“Listen, I may not be able to carry the burden that comes along with these trials, but I can carry you.”
Sam smirked.
“You realise you kind of just quoted Lord of the Rings, right?”
Was that Sam’s way of calling him a geek? Dean half-scowled at his brother.
“Come on, man. But it’s the Rudy Hobbit, all right? Rudy Hobbit always gets a pass.” Sam chuckled. Yeah, you’re a geek, his expression said. “Shut up!” Dean scowled.
He reached over to the radio and flicked it on. Instead of the usual hard rock, a song from Supertramp was playing.
It seemed appropriate that it was Goodbye Stranger. Meg might not have been their best friend, hell she wasn’t really their friend either, but she was at least free. And maybe in her one final act of defiance against Crowley, she had found her own redemption.
I’ll never look behind me
My troubles will be few
Goodbye Stranger, it’s been nice
Hope you found your paradise
So long Meg, Dean thought as he drove through the night. Thanks.
Title: Goodbye Stranger
Genre: Angst, episode related
Characters: Dean, Sam
Rating: PG
Summary: Dean's thoughts as they drive away after Castiel almost killed him.
a/n: The dialogue is directly from the episode but Dean's thoughts are from my imagination. For those who haven't seen the episode I try to summarise what has gone on before as briefly as I can. I haven't seen the rest of the season yet, so these are my imaginings of Dean's thoughts at that moment in time.
Dean kept his eyes on the road as they drove away, wishing there was something he could have done to stop Meg being killed. Still, he knew Meg would have just laughed in his face and told him to **** off. This was her choice – her redemption, he supposed. She’d probably known she was dead the moment Crowley showed his face.
The thing about Meg was, yes, she was a demon, but since they had been reluctantly working together, she was the only one who had always been honest with him. She’d told it to him straight. Unlike Cas, who had clearly been lying to him about a lot of things.
When had things got so turned around that a demon was the only one whose word he could trust and he had stopped trusting the one person/being who had been his friend? His ... well, he guessed he could have called Cas family.
After Cas had gone all power-mad and taken all the monsters of Purgatory inside him. That was probably when. Or maybe it was before that, when he’d become embroiled in a war between angels and demons, leaving humans smack bang in the middle of it. Dean had wanted no part of their Holy war. There’d been too many wars over the centuries fought over religion. Although was it really about religion between angels and demons? It gave him a headache just thinking about it.
The point was, Cas had lied to him, refused to tell him the truth about how he’d got out of Purgatory. Dean understood now, since it seemed that Cas was being brainwashed by someone called Naomi. He’d been almost completely sucked in to the point where he’d almost killed Dean. And wasn’t that a mind-**** and a half, Dean thought.
It hurt that the angel who had saved him from forty years of literal Hell could turn on him so completely. God, the world was just so screwed up right now.
Then there was Sam. Who, for all his claims that he could do these trials which would help them close the gates of Hell forever, was clearly not okay. The trials were killing him.
Sam frowned at him.
“So ... what happened? I mean, Cas touched the tablet, and it reset him to his factory settings or something?”
Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. And I don’t care. All I know is that he is off the reservation with a heavenly WMD.” He sighed softly, not wanting his brother to know how much it had hurt, knowing Sam had lied to him once again. It had just started feeling like they were getting back on track, especially after what had happened with Amelia, and now ...
“Listen man, I can’t take any more lies. From anyone.”
Sam looked at him for a long moment, and had the grace to look a little ashamed. Dean turned back to look out into the darkness and the rain.
“Yeah. Um ... I know, I’m sorry. I should have told you. I – I just wanted to believe I was okay. I don’t know.”
Did Sam really think that, or was it something he thought his brother wanted to hear? Sam could be stoic when he wanted to, even though most of the time he was a crybaby. Except when they were on the job. For a big guy, Sam could be soft when he needed to, like he could draw on the right sort of emotions, but on the job he was as tough as they came. And he could lie with the best of them, especially to Dean.
Still, Dean had had enough. A year in Purgatory and he’d come back to find Sam hadn’t even looked for him; for a way to get him out. He’d got on with his life. Sure, Sam deserved to have that life, and all things considered, Dean had also tried to have a life. With Lisa. But Destiny just kept coming on a-knocking on their door, so what was he supposed to do? Ignore it? You can’t fight Fate, he sighed.
“You heard what Cas said; that the first trial hurt you in ways that even he can’t heal. Sammy, I need you to be honest with me from here on out, man.”
Those stupid trials. Why was everything a trial? Hadn’t they been through enough after God knew how many apocalypses? Apocalypsi? Whatever! He was sure there was some kind of screwed-up term for it. Damned if he could think of it.
Sam just nodded. “You’re right. And I will be.”
Yeah, why did Dean not believe him? Still, he had to try to get something back. Their lives were screwed up enough and they’d already lost so much. He couldn’t stand it if he lost his brother too.
“Listen, I may not be able to carry the burden that comes along with these trials, but I can carry you.”
Sam smirked.
“You realise you kind of just quoted Lord of the Rings, right?”
Was that Sam’s way of calling him a geek? Dean half-scowled at his brother.
“Come on, man. But it’s the Rudy Hobbit, all right? Rudy Hobbit always gets a pass.” Sam chuckled. Yeah, you’re a geek, his expression said. “Shut up!” Dean scowled.
He reached over to the radio and flicked it on. Instead of the usual hard rock, a song from Supertramp was playing.
It seemed appropriate that it was Goodbye Stranger. Meg might not have been their best friend, hell she wasn’t really their friend either, but she was at least free. And maybe in her one final act of defiance against Crowley, she had found her own redemption.
I’ll never look behind me
My troubles will be few
Goodbye Stranger, it’s been nice
Hope you found your paradise
So long Meg, Dean thought as he drove through the night. Thanks.
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