Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Living Conditions

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Living Conditions

    Author: Phoenixnz
    Title: Living Conditions
    Genre: Slash, fluff
    Rating: G
    Pairing: Clex
    Disclaimer: If I owned the boys, well, let's just say they would be in my harem, and that's all I'm saying about that.
    Feedback: Pretty please? With rainbow sprinkles?

    a/n: This is just a fluffy little one-shot inspired by the Buffy episode of the same name.



    “My roommate is a demon!”

    Lex choked at Clark’s announcement, the small amount of scotch in the tumbler sloshing dangerously close to the edge, threatening to tip over.

    “A what? Clark, there’s no such thing.”

    “He irons his jeans, Lex. How is that not a demon thing?”

    “You’ve been watching Buffy again,” was all Lex commented.

    “And he’s doing everything that demon girl did. He irons his jeans, he’s like, always straightening the rug, he labels everything in the fridge – he’s completely anal.”

    Lex spluttered.

    “Clark, you really shouldn’t say things like that when I’m drinking.”

    “What? Anal?”

    “That is really unfair when I promised your parents ...”

    “What my parents don’t know ...” Clark said, waving his hand airily.

    “Considering you are the worst liar in the history of bad liars, I really don’t think you want to finish that statement.”

    Clark whined.

    “Aww, come on, Lex, it’s not like I’m a kid any more. I’m over eighteen.”

    “And your parents made me promise that I would allow you to focus on your studies.”

    Clark sighed. His parents weren’t exactly happy the day he came out and told them he was in love with Lex. It was not that they disliked Lex. His friend’s relationship with his parents had come a long way from the first year when they’d met and his dad had been unfriendly, bordering on hostile.

    But there was a big difference between friendship and romance, and his parents just weren’t ready to accept that facet of Clark’s relationship with Lex. Not that they’d actually done anything further than make out. Lex could be stubborn when he wanted to be. Some might even say anal.

    Anal. Clark snickered.

    “What’s so funny?” Lex said.

    “Anal.” Lex rolled his eyes.

    “Oh grow up, Kent. You’re in college now, not pre-school.”

    Clark sighed and flopped on the couch. Couldn’t even joke about it, even if it was puerile. He kicked the table in front of him.

    “It’s just so frustrating. Why did I even have to have a roommate?”

    “It’s just for the first year, and it helped your parents save on costs. It’s not like you can’t run home whenever you feel like it. Not that I would recommend that, either. You really need to curb your hero tendencies, Clark. At least for now.”

    “You sound like Dad, only ...”

    “Only what?”

    “Well, he’d use some kind of platitude.”

    “Don’t knock your father’s platitudes. It’s just his way of guiding you. And it’s a lot better than Lionel’s ‘don’t get caught son’ way of discipline. Have you actually tried communicating with your roommate? Telling him how much it bothers you?”

    “No, because then he’d start criticising everything I do.”

    “Not that I’m complaining, but you do have a way of announcing yourself.”

    “Huh?”

    “Every time you come in here you leave your boots in the hallway. Right in the middle of the hallway, mind you. It’s a wonder I haven’t tripped over them.”

    “I’d always catch you,” Clark grinned.

    “That is not the point, Clark. And like I said, I’m not complaining, but maybe you need to learn to be a little more considerate of other people’s idiosyncrasies,” Lex suggested gently.

    “You’re saying I should shut up and live with it.”

    “Well, what would Jonathan say?”

    Clark shuddered. “Dad wouldn’t say anything. He’d just give me a look.”

    “And that, my friend, is why your father wins over my father every time. Just the fact that he can inspire that with just a look says much about his parenting style.”

    “I never thought I’d actually hear you praising my father, let alone agree with him on something.”

    “Wonders will never cease,” Lex grinned back, joining Clark on the couch. He put an arm around Clark’s shoulder. “Now, come on, I have the latest Star Wars movie on DVD with your name on it.”

    “You do know you’re a geek, right, Lex?”

    “Takes one to know one, farmboy.”

  • #2
    Author: Phoenixnz
    Title: Invidia
    Genre: Slash, College clex
    Rating: PG13 (more like hard PG13)
    Pairing: Clex
    Warning: For language.
    Disclaimer: If I owned the boys, well, let's just say they would be in my harem, and that's all I'm saying about that.
    Feedback: Pretty please? With rainbow sprinkles?

    a/n: This is a sequel to Living Conditions inspired by a comment. The title is the Latin word for jealousy.

    Dedicated to friends and Clexfans old and new.

    Summary: Clark is frustrated with Lex's continued refusal to have sex with him so he comes up with a new strategy, with the help of an old 'friend' of Lex's. If he's not careful, the plan just might backfire.





    Invidia


    Clark needed a plan. It was almost the holidays and he was damned if he was going to come out the other side of them and still be a virgin. If only he could get Lex to co-operate, he thought.

    His friend ... or should he call Lex his boyfriend? They were dating, sort of. But they still hadn’t done anything more than just make out. They’d gone no further than first base, or was it second base? He could never remember the baseball terms and what base was what when it came to dating. He preferred football. But there were no sex analogies for football. Apparently.

    Mind wandering, Kent. Get your head in the ... heh ... game!

    So, how was he going to get what he wanted from his boyfriend? Lex was really stubborn and obstinate about such things. He clearly wanted to keep on Clark’s father’s good side, which was all fine, but Clark had his limits and he’d just about reached his.

    He’d tried everything in the past few months. From getting Lex drunk to walking around the penthouse apartment Lex owned practically naked, and Lex remained steadfast. Okay, so he’d had that cute little blush going when Clark had walked out of the shower with just a towel around his waist. Of course, Lex had denied that. Luthors don’t blush. Clark had laughed his head off at his friend. Apparently Luthors do blush.

    It was no good going to Chloe to ask for help. She’d figured out Clark had had feelings for Lex back in junior year and had encouraged Clark to go for it, but she was busy with her own relationship. Since they’d both started college, Chloe had been dating up a storm, until she’d met a guy she claimed was ‘the love of her life’. She was being very mysterious about him too. All Clark knew was that he lived in Gotham.

    He definitely couldn’t go to his parents for help either. Lex had promised the elder Kents that he would make sure Clark focused on his studies. But Clark didn’t see any reason why they couldn’t enjoy themselves too. And by ‘enjoying themselves’, Clark meant sex. Lots of sex. After all, he could pass his classes without even trying, now that he was able to just go all out.

    His little, my roommate is a demon ploy hadn’t worked. Lex had seen right through him. Of course, it hadn’t helped that he’d used a plot from Buffy, which Lex would never admit to liking in a million years.

    “Are we boring you, Mr Kent?”

    Clark felt himself turning red.

    “Uh, no, professor, I just ...”

    Somehow a get-together by the members of his intro to journalism class, to go over the work for mid-terms, had turned into a discussion on politics and ethics. Which was fine. But Clark would much rather be pulling teeth than taking part in this kind of discussion when class was over.

    “I’m just gonna ... go,” he told his classmates.

    Hopefully Lex was free for lunch, he thought as he picked up his phone to dial Lex’s private number. But no such luck. Lex was busy in meetings all day.

    Sighing, Clark sat in the campus cafe, staring into his milkshake.

    “Hey Smallville? Why so mopey?”

    Lois. Okay, so she was one of his best friends, but he really didn’t need the aggravation right now.

    Lois nudged him. “Aw, come on, tell Auntie Lois all about it.”

    “You wouldn’t understand,” he told her.

    “What wouldn’t I understand? I mean, clearly you’re having boyfriend troubles.”

    “Lois! I don’t want to talk about this with you!”

    Clark got up from the table and practically stomped out of the cafe. He could hear Lois following him.

    “Look,” she said, “obviously there’s something you need to get off your chest. And who better to help than me? I mean, you know how I feel about old Chrome Dome ...”

    “Don’t call him that!” Clark spat angrily.

    “Whoa, farmboy, take a chill pill, okay? I just meant ... look I’m not Lex’s greatest fan. Not by a long shot. But I know how you feel about him. And see, that’s why I’m the perfect person to talk to about this because I’m sort of neutral. I mean, I don’t really get the whole gay thing, since I’m completely hetero, but ...”

    “Lois!”

    “Like I said, if it’s boyfriend troubles then I can help. I mean, my last boyfriend was all interruptus and no coitus, if you know what I mean.”

    “No, I don’t know!” Clark snapped.

    Lois’ eyes widened. “Are you saying that ... you mean to tell me that ...”

    “All right, fine, you want to know. The problem is, Lex made a promise to my parents that he wouldn’t have sex with me until I’d at least made it through one year of college, with my GPA intact, and I’m so ****ing frustrated, and ...”

    Lois was laughing. She was literally howling with laughter. And despite the fact they were in an isolated part of the campus, Clark was sure the racket Lois was making was going to bring someone running. She was clutching her stomach, practically on her knees, she was laughing so hard. Tears were running down her cheeks.

    Clark shifted on his feet, feeling like the worst kind of fool.

    “It’s not funny, Lois.”

    She kept laughing, which only served to make Clark feel even more depressed.

    “You know, some friend you are, Lane! I’m out of here!”

    Clark stormed off, going to his dorm to lie on his bed and mope. But even the relative calm of the room was shattered a few minutes later when his roommate came in.

    “Moping again?” Cal sighed.

    And wasn’t it kind of ironic that he would end up with a roommate who had sort of the same name as his birth one.

    “Go away, demon spawn!” Clark muttered.

    “Fine. I only came to change my clothes anyway. I’m staying at Lindsey’s tonight.”

    “Great. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

    Cal quickly changed his clothes, grabbing his backpack and headed for the door. He turned and looked at Clark.

    “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re really uptight, Kent. Take my advice. Go out, find some random girl, or guy, if that’s your taste, and get laid. Trust me. It’ll loosen you up.”

    Clark grabbed a pillow and threw it at his roommate. Cal just grinned as he caught it and left the room.

    Clark rolled over and buried his face in the one remaining pillow, groaning. His life sucked!

    A quiet knock on the door roused him from a doze. Clark sat up, barely aware that he’d fallen asleep.

    “What?”

    The door opened and what appeared to be a Kleenex was waved through the gap. He didn’t need x-ray vision to know who was behind the door.

    “Go away, Lois. I don’t want to talk to you.”

    “Aw, come on, Smallville. I’m waving the white flag and everything.”

    Clark groaned. She was clearly going to come in whether he wanted it or not.

    “Say what you’re going to say then go away Lois. I mean it.”

    Lois came in and sat on the bed. “Look, I’m sorry for laughing, but you have to see it from my side. I mean, the thought that Lex and your parents would ever agree on anything, especially when it comes to you is just ... well, it’s hysterical. I mean, Lex doesn’t have the greatest track record when it comes to your parents.”

    “Yeah, just make fun of the gay virgin.”

    “Clark, I’m not making fun of you. Believe me, I know what it’s like to be that horny and, to quote Mick Jagger, ‘can’t get no satisfaction’.”

    “That is really bad grammar,” Clark commented.

    Lois rolled her eyes. “Whatever. All I’m saying is, I do know how you feel. I mean, I was dating this really great guy and he kept slipping off, making these lame excuses and we never really got around to ... well, I’m sure you can imagine. And to top it off, I found out he’s bi.”

    “Really?”

    “Really. Anyway, I decided I had to do one of two things. Make him insanely jealous, or break up with him. In the end we decided we were better off being friends.”

    “Oh. And here I was hoping you’d have opted for the former, rather than the latter.”

    “So, what is the problem with Lex? Other than the agreement with your parents?”

    “Beats the hell out of me. I’ve tried everything. I’ve borrowed his shower and practically walked around the apartment naked but I barely get a kiss goodnight.”

    “Hmm! It’s a tough one, Smallville, I’ll give you that. Lex is pretty stubborn.”

    “No, I just think he’s scared of my dad’s shotgun.”

    “What exactly was the promise he made to your parents?”

    “That he’d let me focus on my studies.”

    “Clark, you get straight As on everything. You can write all your papers with one hand tied behind your back. What makes your parents think that you and Lex doing the horizontal hula is going to make any difference to your grades?”

    “Maybe they think that once we do it we won’t be able to stop?”

    “I hate to say this, Smallville, but it would be the same if you were dating a girl, you know. I mean, there was a time when we all thought you and Lana were ****ing like bunnies.”

    Clark shuddered at the thought.

    “Well, the point is, Lex doesn’t think I’ll be able to hide it when we do eventually have sex.”

    “Well, you are the world’s worst liar, farmboy. One look at your dad’s face and you’re gonna cave. Have you actually tried talking to Lex about how you feel? I mean, it sounds like Lex and your parents made this decision without asking you how you felt about the deal.”

    “Of course I have. I’ve talked until I’m blue in the face. He just doesn’t get that I can focus on my studies. I mean, lately all I can think about is how badly I want sex with him, and yet I still manage to pull in the straight As.”

    “Okay, okay, no need to brag about it. Look, maybe you need to try a new strategy. Lex is ... kind of competitive, isn’t he?”

    “Yeah, he is.”

    “So it would be fair to say that when it comes to you, he wouldn’t like competition?”

    “No, he wouldn’t,” Clark said slowly. He was starting to get where this was going. “You think I should make Lex jealous.”

    “And I know just the perfect guy to help you. I mean, you wouldn’t have to sleep with him. It would be just enough to get Lex all ‘hot and bothered’, wouldn’t you agree?”

    Lois arranged for the two of them to meet the next day. When Clark met Oliver Queen, he was taken aback by how handsome the blonde was. He was nowhere near as hot as Lex, but he was still pretty hot.

    “So you’re dating Lex?” Oliver asked.

    “Why? You know him?”

    “I went to school with him,” Oliver admitted.

    “You didn’t, uh ...” Clark trailed off, letting the unspoken words hang in the air.

    “Sleep with him?” Oliver snorted. “Not likely. He hates my guts.”

    Clark bit his lip. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

    “Are you kidding?” Lois said when he voiced his doubts to her. “It’s perfect! Lex will get so mad and so jealous at the thought of you dating his worst enemy that he’ll jump your bones in no time.”

    “I’m still not so sure I should pretend to be dating Oliver,” Clark said. “I don’t want to hurt Lex.”

    “Yeah? Well I don’t want to be the one getting hurt if you don’t go through with this. You’ve been really surly the past couple of months, Clark. You need to get laid in the worst way.”

    “Don’t tell me that, tell Lex!”

    Clark didn’t need too much convincing after that. He wanted to get laid and if it took letting Lex think he was seeing his worst enemy (at least where school had been concerned) then he’d do it.

    As the holiday season rolled around, Clark kept breaking dates with Lex. At first, Lex had been understanding, especially when Clark told him he needed to study for mid-terms. But Clark always made sure he flashed a guilty look across his face, knowing that Lex would know he was lying through his teeth. But to his credit, Lex didn’t call him on it.

    He met Oliver for lunches and dinners, even when he told Lex he was studying. At first, he thought the plan wasn’t working, until he saw a man he knew was working for Lex following him and Oliver around as they shopped for gifts. Oliver was flirting quite blatantly with him in one store.

    Two days before Clark was due to go home to Smallville for the holidays, it all came to a head. Lex stormed into Clark’s dorm, ignoring Clark’s roommate.

    “Are you cheating on me?” he growled.

    “Uh, I think this is where I make my exit,” Cal told Clark, heading quickly out the door, not even stopping to grab his backpack.

    Clark looked innocently at Lex.

    “What? Why would you think I’m cheating on you?”

    “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’ve been seen hanging around with Oliver Queen!”

    “Have you been spying on me?” Clark returned, trying to muster up a sense of outrage, although inside he was practically leaping for joy at the sight of a jealous and from all appearances, a very possessive Lex.

    “Don’t turn this back on me, farmboy. You’ve been lying to me. Telling me you’ve been studying when you’ve really been out with Oliver!” Lex snarled.

    “He’s just a friend,” Clark told him.

    “That’s not the way it looks!”

    “Well, that’s not my fault!” Clark returned. “Oliver happens to be good company.”

    “Are you sleeping with him?”

    “Don’t be ridiculous!”

    “I’m being ridiculous? How the **** am I supposed to believe anything you say? You know, I knew something was up with you, but I just didn’t know it was this bad.”

    “Well, maybe if you’d paid more attention, instead of burying yourself in work, you might actually have learned something.”

    “So this is my fault now?” Lex raged.

    “You know how it goes, Lex. When the cat’s away ...”

    “Don’t you dare, Kent! Don’t you ****ing dare!”

    “Hey,” someone yelled. “Keep it down!”

    Lex rolled his eyes. “That’s it. Get your stuff together. We’re going back to the penthouse.”

    Clark pretended to resist as Lex grabbed his arm, but he knew that Lex knew damn well he couldn’t make Clark do something he didn’t want to do.

    Lex was silent on the way over, but Clark could see from the way Lex was clutching the steering wheel that he was furious. Clark felt a twinge of conscience. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea after all, he thought. He’d never seen Lex so angry.

    The fury hung in the air as Lex flung open the door to the penthouse. He headed straight for the wet bar and poured himself a glass of scotch. Clark stood there, fidgeting, not sure what to do. He’d had doubts about this plan and he was sure now that he’d screwed everything up between him and Lex.

    “Lex, I ...”

    “Don’t! Just don’t, Clark. Right now, I’m too angry to even look at you.”

    “I’m sorry,” Clark said softly.

    “It’s way too late for apologies,” Lex said. “After everything we’ve been through together, the fact that you could do this, and with a guy like Oliver. You have no idea who that man really is, do you?”

    “Oliver told me you went to Excelsior together.”

    “Did he also tell you that he tormented me all through my formative years?”

    “He might have mentioned it. Lex ...”

    Lex turned and looked at him. “I thought I meant more to you than this.”

    “You do. I love you, Lex, you know that.”

    “You have a funny way of showing it,” Lex answered, lifting the glass to his lips and taking another sip.

    “Well, you know what, you’re hardly one to talk. I mean, you’re no peach to deal with either. I never know where I stand with you. You keep telling me you made a promise to Mom and Dad and you keep stalling. It makes me wonder if you really want this at all.”

    Lex looked gobsmacked.

    “Are you telling me you did all this because I won’t sleep with you?”

    “Well ...”

    “Of all the lame ass things you’ve done over the years we’ve known each other, Clark, this really takes the cake.”

    Clark groaned. Lex had really been spending way too much time around Chloe. Back when he’d first met Lex, he’d practically had to consult a dictionary just to keep up with his friend. Lex was almost a walking encyclopaedia of obscure references. Now his vocabulary appeared to have degenerated to the level of a twelfth grader.

    “Yeah, well all my friends got tired of me *****ing and moaning about how I could never get past second base with you. And Lois ...”

    “You’re saying this was Lane’s idea? Well, there’s a ringing endorsement if ever I heard one.”

    Clark sighed. He should have known this would never have worked. Lex was just too stubborn.

    “I really hate you sometimes, Lex. I get that you want to keep on my parents’ good sides and all that, but did you even think about how I would feel about all this? You made this deal with them without even asking me what I wanted! And you know what? I’m sick of playing second to your work and my studies!”

    “Are you giving me an ultimatum, Kent?”

    Clark thought about this for a second.

    “You know something? Maybe I am. I’ve kept up my grades, despite how frustrated I’ve been the past few months. I’ve proved that I can keep my focus. But none of that seems to matter to you. So what if I go out with another guy? At least he’s prepared to give me what I can’t get from you.”

    Well, Oliver hadn’t said it in so many words, but the offer had been implied.

    Lex snarled, crossing the room and grabbing his arms. If Clark had been human, the grip would have hurt like hell.

    “There is no way in hell I’m ever letting an ******* like Oliver Queen get his hands anywhere near you. You’re mine, farmboy!”

    Clark didn’t resist as Lex kissed him hard. His mind reeled and he was forced to take a step back, but he didn’t let go.

    He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he finally woke in Lex’s bed. In Lex’s arms. His body was still feeling the tingle of his last orgasm. How many times had he come, he thought. He’d lost count.

    Lex was watching him, leaning on one elbow as he lay over him. Clark smiled sleepily up at his lover.

    “I owe you an apology,” Lex said.

    Clark started to speak, but Lex quickly shushed him.

    “No. You were right. I should have asked you how you felt about all this. I made the deal with your dad without talking to you and that was wrong of me. We’re supposed to be partners.”

    “I shouldn’t have listened to Lois,” Clark admitted. “The plan was to make you jealous, and it worked, but ... I didn’t mean to hurt you, Lex. I was just ...”

    “Frustrated. I know. It’s been a frustrating couple of years for me too, you know.”

    “Years?” Clark asked.

    Lex smiled sheepishly. “Only the thought of your father’s shotgun kept me from doing this a long time ago.”

    Clark laughed. He’d always thought Lex was fearless, but it seemed ridiculous that his worst terror was Clark’s father.

    “He’d never have shot you,” Clark said confidently.

    “Well, you’ll forgive me, Clark, but I wasn’t keen on taking that chance.”

    “Are you kidding? My mom would have stopped him. She loves you. She was always telling me you were too skinny and she wanted to fatten you up.”

    “What does that prove?”

    “My mom only tries to mother those she likes.”

    Lex laughed. “She does seem to like mothering me, doesn’t she?”

    “This doesn’t make us brothers though. Just so you know.”

    “After what we’ve done tonight, the last thing we are is brothers.”

    “I love you, Lex. And I’m sorry. Oliver was Lois’ idea. And he’s a good guy. But I really only see him as a friend.”

    “Well, as long as that’s all he is. I meant what I said earlier. You’re mine farmboy.”

    “And you’re mine?” Clark asked.

    Lex leaned down and kissed him. “And don’t you forget it,” he whispered.

    END
    Last edited by phoenixnz; 01-13-2012, 02:09 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Absolutely AWESOME story!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Lia Kent-Mercer
        Absolutely AWESOME story!!
        I'm glad you liked it hon.

        Comment


        • #5
          How could you NOT tell me about this story? *shakes head sadly* I really enjoyed reading about a sexually frustrated Clark. I loved it. *grins*

          ​20 more posts to 10,000

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by gem65
            How could you NOT tell me about this story? *shakes head sadly* I really enjoyed reading about a sexually frustrated Clark. I loved it. *grins*

            ​20 more posts to 10,000
            Clark is evil when he's sexually frustrated, but only in the best sense of the word.

            Comment


            • #7
              Hey found this story. And boy am I glad I did.
              congratulations another hit

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by FanofTom
                Hey found this story. And boy am I glad I did.
                congratulations another hit
                Hey hon, no worries, I'm glad you found it too. And I'm glad you enjoyed it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Bumping this one up, too, Leanne. Love me some Clex.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by tua33915
                    Bumping this one up, too, Leanne. Love me some Clex.
                    Thanks for the bump. Sadly not too many Clex fans anymore.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Mate, Lex must have an iron clad will to resist his farm boy for that long. Or a very serious fear of shotguns!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by BigRed67
                        Mate, Lex must have an iron clad will to resist his farm boy for that long. Or a very serious fear of shotguns!!!
                        I would say it's the latter, haha. Clark is evil when he doesn't get what he wants, that's for sure.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You know you have me totally addicted to Clex now! Evil woman😈

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by BigRed67
                            You know you have me totally addicted to Clex now! Evil woman
                            *Innocent look* Me? Evil? Never!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Yes missy you!!! Now I'm working my way through Archive as well. Like I don't have enough catching up to do.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X
                              😀
                              🥰
                              🤢
                              😎
                              😡
                              👍
                              👎