Lines you wish were in this episode......

[Jephael]

Nice Family Guy reference!

[Loislovesclark]

During Clark & Cat's date:

Waiter: Would you like dessert?

Cat: I'll take the chocolate mousse.

Waiter: Anything for you sir?

Clark: No thank you.

[The waiter leaves]

Clark: Excuse me while I go to the bathroom.

[Clark leaves to the bathroom & when the coast is clear, he superspeeds home & grabs a piece of pie that he wraps in a napkin & superspeeds back to the restaurant's bathroom & walks out]

Cat: The chocolate mousse is great. Want a piece?

Clark: No, I'm good. Besides, I brought something from home.

[He takes out the napkin & unwraps it]

Cat: Pie?

Clark: Mmm-hmm.

Cat: Wow, that looks so yummy. Wanna have a little piece of my mousse for a little piece of your pie?

Clark: Nah. I never cheat on pie. I'm a 1-dessert man.

Lois (talking into the earpiece): Nice going Clark.

Cat: Well, could I have a piece of your pie anyway?

Clark (now yelling with pie crumbs flying out his mouth & into Cat's face): Mmhhget your own damn fwicken pieah!!!!!!!!!! This one's mine!!!! You hear me!?!?! All mine!!! Down to the very last crumb!!!

[Clark sweeps the crumbs that landed off Cat off from her and eats every last one, while suddenly Cat reaches out to grab the little bit of pie left in the napkin & Clark realizes it & blocks her]

Clark: I don't think so.

[Clark lays a backhand that sends Cat flying backwards through the restaurant window]

Clark: The pie's mine b***h!!!!!!

Lois (talking into his earpiece): OK, what the hell was that? And why did I hear Shelby barking while you were in the bathroom.

Clark: Must have been another dog. This place serves nothing but dogfood. I'd never take you here if we ever went out on a date.

Lois: Really? And what if I'd want to go there?

Clark: Then you'd better bring your own damn pie, cuz no one's touchin' mine!!!!! Ya dig?

DUDE, YOU CRACK ME UP!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYY

----- Added 1 Minutes later -----

Ollie: Thanks for saving me Clark, for a minute I thought you wouldn't catch the bullet in time

Clark: What are you talking about? I was going for your eye, the bullet got in the way

[xrayvision]

^^LOL!

[xrayvision]

[After the kiss]

Clark (to Lois): I'll take my Harley now.

Harleen Quinzel: You called puddin'? Hey...you're not Mista J.

Lois: I'm his Harley.

Harleen: Oh yeah!

Clark: Cat fight!!!!!!!!!!

[They stop arguing & turn to look angrily at Clark]

Lois: You had to ruin it with that remark didn't you Smallville?

Harleen: Yeah, dis one's not too bright, ain't he?

[The Joker walks out of the elevator & looks at the angry stares at Clark]

Joker: Why...so...seriousssss?

[Cat Grant enters]

Cat: Anyone call me? I heard someone say Cat fight. Who should I fight.

Joker (whispering to Clark): Here, hit the blonde with this pie using your speed.

Clark (being interrupted): How'd you know I...

Joker: Just do it!

[Clark uses his speed to hit Cat with the pie and make it look like Lois threw it at her]

Cat: Oh, now it is ON biatccchhhh!!!!

[Lois, Cat & Harley Quinn get it on]

Clark: Hey, wait a minute, that was perfectly good pie!!!! You tricked me!!!

[Clark jumps in & starts licking the pie off Cat's face as she slugs at the other 2]

Joker: I love my job ssssoooooooo verrrrrryyyy much!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

[Welling_is_pretty]

^ what, no Catwoman?

[Loislovesclark]

[After the kiss]

Clark (to Lois): I'll take my Harley now.

Harleen Quinzel: You called puddin'? Hey...you're not Mista J.

Lois: I'm his Harley.

Harleen: Oh yeah!

Clark: Cat fight!!!!!!!!!!

[They stop arguing & turn to look angrily at Clark]

Lois: You had to ruin it with that remark didn't you Smallville?

Harleen: Yeah, dis one's not too bright, ain't he?

[The Joker walks out of the elevator & looks at the angry stares at Clark]

Joker: Why...so...seriousssss?

[Cat Grant enters]

Cat: Anyone call me? I heard someone say Cat fight. Who should I fight.

Joker (whispering to Clark): Here, hit the blonde with this pie using your speed.

Clark (being interrupted): How'd you know I...

Joker: Just do it!

[Clark uses his speed to hit Cat with the pie and make it look like Lois threw it at her]

Cat: Oh, now it is ON biatccchhhh!!!!

[Lois, Cat & Harley Quinn get it on]

Clark: Hey, wait a minute, that was perfectly good pie!!!! You tricked me!!!

[Clark jumps in & starts licking the pie off Cat's face as she slugs at the other 2]

Joker: I love my job ssssoooooooo verrrrrryyyy much!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

CAT FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xrayvision]

^ what, no Catwoman?

Nah, she got arrested for trying to get it on with the jailbait Robin.

[madcatlady]

Chloe: So Stuart, tell me about yourself?

Stuart: Well, I've been considered a whiz kid since I was very young.

Chloe: Really?

Stuart: Oh yes, a certifiable genius. One day I will control the whole world.

Chloe: That's evil though. What do your parents have to say about that?

Stuart: Well, my father is pretty drunk most of the time, so he doesn't really care.

Chloe: And your mom?

Stuart: She's dead.

Chloe: I'm sorry to hear that. Hey could I see those photos of you in your wallet?

Stuart: Fine.

Chloe: Hey, you looked funny as a baby. Your head was all football-shaped. And look at your dog, pretending to drive a car.

Stuart: Yeah, he was just pretending.

Chloe: Hey, how come you have photos of your mom's funeral in your wallet?

Stuart: Because it was my finest work.

Chloe: Hey, it says In Memory of Lois. My cousin has that same name.

Stuart: Maybe I'll have to kill her too. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Chloe: Hey, here's a photo of your birthday party. It says Happy Birthday Stewie. They called you Stewie? That's funny.

Stuart: Yes, you blithering fool.

Brian: C'mon Stuart we're going.

Stuart: Uhh. You were supposed to be dead by now. Instead I still have you to deal with. Very well.

Chloe: I did not just see that. I did not just see that!!

Brian (yelling next to Chloe): I did not just see that!!!! I did not just see that!!! It's like you people have never seen a dog talk!

meanwhile, in the background, Peter Griffin is seen running away with the cardboard cutout. Giggity!

[DavidB1111]

I have a few.

Clark: I'm Rick James!
Lois: Clark, you are not Dave Chapelle.

Chloe: Soon, you will all know the power of the dark side of the force.

Chloe: You do realize I killed a man for you, Clark, right?
Clark: Now you tell me!

Clark: I'm the real Slim Shady...
Lois: No you're not.

Tess: Kneel Before me, Zod!
Tess kicks Zod in the groin.
Zod whimpers. "I kneel now!"

After the kiss...
Lois: Was I high this entire time? Did I imagine that.
Clark: No, and you shouldn't do drugs, Lois.

[xrayvision]

Lois: I want you to share your life with me Clark.

Clark: Would you stop being so clingy? It was just a stupid kiss.

Lois: It was NOT! You led me on and now you're going to share.

Clark: You want me to share, Lois? Do you really want me to share my interests?

Lois: Yes.

Clark: OK, I'll be back.

[Clark leaves & comes back with a pie]

Lois: So...?

Clark: Here Lois. This is the #1 love of my life.

Lois: Pie?

Clark: And I will share it with you.

[He throws it on her face]

Clark: There, I shared my interests with you Lois. Are you happy?

Lois: Mmmm, this pie is so good...

Clark: Oh no...you better not. That pie is all mine.

Lois (starting to eat it): Mmm, yummy.

[Clark takes the pie off her face and kisses her again to suck all the pie out her mouth]

Lois: Ha! I knew that would work Smallville!! Now, let's play a game of "Cover the Lane with Pie".

Clark: Did the Not-So Wholesome Olsen teach you that game?

Lois: Yup.

Clark: I can't. That's Pie-blasphemy, Lois. As the keeper & guardian of the Sacred Pie Temple, I can't let that happen. It's against our 10th Pie Commandment: Thou shalt not defile pie for tawdry purposes.

Lois: Well rumor has it that Lex added an 11th Commandment that says you can cover a cueball with pie and take pleasure is his crusty, apple-filled goodness. Are you seriously gonna allow Lex to one up you like that and enjoy feasting on pies in ways you can't?

Clark: Good idea. Let's go.

[flashofblueandred]

[Clark lays a backhand that sends Cat flying backwards through the restaurant window]

Clark: The pie's mine b***h!!!!!!

It's deja vu!

[Welling_is_pretty]

Nah, she got arrested for trying to get it on with the jailbait Robin.

OK...that was good!

[SmallvilleClois007]

(After The KISS)

Lois: (Soft Whisper) Well, it took you long enough....sailor. (More Kissing) YAY!!!

My heart melts with Clois....

I would have died if this was in there!!! In my mind I'm imgaining her saying that...

I LOVE IT!!!